A strange life we live
by DoggyBoy007
Summary: Inuyasha has been living alone with a burden all his life. But what happens with someone comes along and changes his outlook. Can he finally find out who he is and why he is? Update Kagome struggles with her past can Inuyasha help her mend her mind? Find out by reading more :P
1. Chapter 1

I may not own Inuyasha and gang but I own this story!

Snow. A fresh clean blanket covers the street for as far as the eye can see. I lean against the bookshelf. As I take a deep breath in a book stabs my back. I have been here for god knows how long, I lost track of time a long time ago. All I can do lately is watch from above as the people move and carry on with their busy lives. I live in a small place high above the city. It is a abandoned old building but I have made it home. There is a old stove that I never use a fridge that sits empty. Dishes that have piled up but always are forgotten at the end of the day never to be washed. The table has many things on it but none of the items I of any importance. My bed is small and with out a frame, just a mattress on the floor. A few blankets scattered around a bed that is never made. The bathroom is small and only has a standing shower and toilet and sink, no bath, no shampoos, no soap. There is a bookshelf next to the old dirty window looking down on the main street, just clean enough to see through but dirty enough to not see a clear picture, more or less I watch blurs walk on by on the street below. Out of all the books I own I have never opened a single one up and bothered to read the contents.

As days have past I have wondered why I stay in Tokyo, there is nothing here for me anymore, there never was. But it seems the longer I stay the harder it is to actually leave. I think it is all in my head; all I want is to find a reason to stay here. To understand why I on this earth. For a long time now I have searched for that answer but have never found one. My name is Inuyasha I am a half demon. And cursed. I am only human for a hour at a time it hurts to stay in a human form to long. I can normally last only for a hour and then have to rest for three before being normal again. The rest of my time I wonder around my home as a dog. I have yet to find out why it is this way but I will find my answer. My mother told me my father found his answer, and so has my brother. But when I asked her what that answer was she only smiled and told me only time will answer the question. The next day she died. That was years ago. She was only human of course. But I miss her. Not a day goes by that I wonder if she would have told me what my life means, or if anything what I am.

Sighing I breath onto the window making it fog up with my breath, then I see my chance and draw a stick man into the foggy breath. Something below catches my attention, a lady. She is staring at me. Maybe, my drawing I wipe the window to make a small clean area so I can see out. She has black hair and huge brown eyes I can see from up here, and a small figure to her, she looks so cold down there, but she is smiling up at me. Retreating back from the window I flop onto the bed. The fan above is draped with dust and as a gust of wind blows outside, the draft flings some of it and it lands on me. Sitting bolt up wrinkling my nose I look at the clock on the window, less then a minute left.

A knock on my door brings me back to reality, my first instinct takes over and I run to the door barking like a mad man.

"Hello, is any body home, I saw someone up here from outside." A long pause before the voice started up again, " I am lost, can you let me in please." A minute passes as I stare at the door waiting to see what she does, I bet she leave. Then comes knock again. " Hello!" She knocks again, but this time due to the lack of response she must have deemed it necessary to try to open the door, which has no lock. As the door swings open all I can do is stare at this woman who is now in my house and looking right at me confused. Well if she is confused you can bet I am.

"Aww what a cute dog! Hey Mr. doggy is your owner home?" She smiled as she reached a hand toward me, but for some reason I find a urge to hind but I know that there is no such thing to do in a place like mine, there is nothing to hide under or behind. Instead I just back up not taking my eyes off this lady, who is she?

"Hello? Anybody home? I am sorry to just barge in but I have no where to go and I saw a man up here." She trailed off as she looks at me moving forward again to touch my.

"Hello?" she grunts and falls onto the mattress. Looking around she looks sad and lost, but happy at the same time. She lets out a big squeal and falls back on to the mattress and grabs a blanket and rolls over. After a minute a soft breathing can be heard and I know she has fallen asleep. I wonder what I should do, what an odd day.

About five hours pass and she is still fast asleep on my bed. And by now I am ready to be a human and ask her why she is here. I just need to find clothing. Clean clothing. What a challenge. Soon I find some and make my change standing up and stretching it finally hits me, I still have dog ears, I wonder if I will give her a heart attack. Shrugging I go and grab the clean clothes I found and stand up and smell them, nope not clean. But I can't just wake her up like this. These will have to do. Pulling the shirt over my head I feel my nose wrinkle up at the smell the shirt has. Not having to dress or be human leaves me with the option to wear clothing or not, and being up here for so long by myself I have had no need for such things.

"Hey lady wake up." As soon as the words escaped my lips her eyes dart open and she sits bolt up and out of sleepy eyes looks towards me.

"I am so sorry, no one was here when I came up, I thought I saw a man through the window so I came up here only to find a dog." She turns her head half looking for the dog then slowly back to me. "May I stay here. I have no where else to go." Rubbing my head I turn over my options, I could just give her this place and finally leave, but I don't want to leave yet. But then again if I let her stay she will probably be scared out of her mind when I turn into my dog form.

"Feh, lady you have no idea what your asking to get yourself into." She looks at me with sad eyes.

"Please I promise I will not bother you, I can buy the food, and cook, and clean." She added the last part slowly as she looked around the room.

"I don't think you understand, let me repeat myself woman, you don't want to stay her." I turn to walk away, but she gets out of bed and I can feel her arms wrap my mid section.

"Please, I promise I don't care that this place is a mess, I can clean and cook and…" the last part never comes through her lips, and I feel her head hit my shoulder blades. Sighing I decide I should tell her and let her decide what she will do.

"Okay you can stay, but only if you can accept me." Her arms release me and I turn to see her face. She is brighter then the sun with that smile.

"Well I don't know what you mean by accept you but I am sure I can!" she seems thrilled at the idea of a place to sleep, I can't help but relate.

"Okay well. Here goes then." I close my eyes and let my body turn back into its cursed self and slowly not wanting to be rejected again like so many have before, I open my eyes, her mouth is wide open. It takes her a second to regain composer.

"Well, that is something." She giggles at the idea of what she just saw I am guessing, "But I accept it!" she leans forward to rub my ears. "Can you turn to a man now so I can talk to you?"

Even though she can't see I am sure my face is burning red. I can't just turn into a human from a dog and expect to be dressed. I turn my furry face to her and tilt it to the side. She frowns.

"Please I haven't had someone to talk to in ages I have been in the forest, camping, and getting away from everyone, please be a man." I lower my head for a minute then decide, well she is going to see sooner or later. As I turn into my human form I close my eyes until I am fully human. Opening my eyes I see her staring at me mouth open in shock.

Well my lovely readers. I wasn't really into the last story I was writing so I decided to try this. Let me know what you think :3


	2. Chapter 2

I may not own Inuyasha and gang but this story is all mine!

Winter is the worst season ever. Not only is it cold but oh so lonely. Looking to the sleeping figure on the bed I think of the past, long ago when the world was not cluttered with buildings and trash. Where nature ruled over man and man accepted this fact. Not daring tarnish the land in fear the gods will punish him. But as I have lived through the ages I have learned one truth. All humans are greedy and want only a couple things, while needing a lot, but wasting more then should be. It is true I have a human form, but in no way shape or form and I a human, well form is the exception. I am demon. I know telling myself this helps me pull away from the filthy things that walk the streets, but in a way I feel for them. They live there entire lives not wondering what will be here in a hundred years, all that goes through their selfish minds are what will better their own small life. But some humans have gone against my idea of mankind. I don't know if I am stuck on this earth as a curse or a blessing. But either way it has shown me what man really is. A animal fighting for its sign for the lost. But if you happen to be different or strange to mankind, mankind will try to kill you. And now that I think of it, man has tried to kill me, many times. I look back at the girl lying in the bed.

"So why is it I want to be with them and help them." I whisper this more to myself then anything. Leaning on the old cracked wall I feel a shiver dart down my spine. I let out a deep breath. I cannot understand anything. All I know is that history repeats itself and I am heading down the same path I have walked so long ago. Stuck in confusion and lost in longing. But for the moment I think I just want to forget what I am searching for. For a time I will throw away all I want to know. For a time, I will try to smile. Knowing this however will do me know good. I need to be able to go through with it fully and worry about being hurt. I will help this girl. I will give someone a reason to live, to enjoy there small life. In hopes that it may help them see what life is. As I lose my human form I smile to myself waiting to the next day I feel myself drifting into a sleep that is welcomed. And I let dreams take over.

The morning came to quickly and before I am willing to wake up a high pitched screams shakes my sleepy mind awake. Sitting up I look over to the girl staring at a place on the wall. Now curiorse I get up on all fours and leap over to her lap and climb on top of her legs to see what could have her so scared this early. I can almost laugh when a small spider crawls its way up the wall. Looking to the girl I can see the fear in her eyes and before I can stop I am rolling over wagging my tail. She can't hear it but the laughter that is coming from me is actually real. Looking down at me she almost crys before shouting out.

"It is not a joke! You need to kill that thing now!" she wrinckles up her nose and looks at it again then down to me. Tilting my head I roll back over and push my paw into it. She looks relieved at the idea that the spider is dead. Wagging my tail and jumping around her she laughs and says plain and simple.

"What's for breakfast?" oh course how can I forget, humans need food every day to live! Running off to the bathroom push the old door closed with my hind leg. I need to be human for her to understand me. As I pull on my pants I stop and wonder, could I ever teach her how to speak dog. I smile at such a silly idea to have crossed my mind.

Okay so maybe not two chapters tonight but I got at lest one more up, hope you all enjoy :D


	3. Chapter 3

I may not own Inuyasha and gang but this story is all mine.

Walking around the store is very stressful. There are so many people bumping into you and then the children, how can something so small make such a loud and unearthly noise? Looking around is also pointless I have no idea what this lady has asked me to buy. She gave me a list, which does me no good because I have no idea what 'ramen' is. Or butter, she also asked me to get some thing called pam. I rub my temples as I look at the list, it has been over an hour and I lost the girl, and also the little food I found that does have the same name will be lost if I can't hold on to this form. And finding her by her sent is totally out of the question, there are so many smells here it almost hurts my head. I have not left my room in years, I would say twelve if I had to guess. And yet I am happy to be out and about, it has been so long since I have had someone even want to talk to me, much less stay in the same home.

"Hey!" That voice. I turn to see her standing about five feet away from me. A big smile plastered onto her face as she looks at me she gives me a small wave. I can feel a smile creep across my face. I am actually relieved she's okay, plus, I need to tell her I am out of time.

"We need to get back. Now." She looks crestfallen at this, and her head hangs down.

"Why? We still have so much we need. Plus I need to buy pots and pans and plates and silver ware do you know that there is no way in hell I will use the old nasty ones you have. Plus there's shampoo, and hand soap, laundry soap. Actually and soap would be a nice change. I want a bed to and new blankets and some pillows. Maybe a computer, and a TV. Oh and an Xbox I heard those are fun, but then there's a PlayStation, I heard those were fun to." As she rambled on I can't help but smile. Strange thing is I am not in pain any more, for some reason this girl lets me be human longer. I don't understand now much of anything but I do know that even though it doesn't hurt I am still running out of time. Then everybody would see me as a dog and it would just not be good.

"What's your name?" I cut her off to make her stop rambling.

"Uhh what?" she looks confused.

"Your name? I am Inuyasha. If I remember right I still don't know your name." her face lights up at this.

"Well Inuyasha, I am Kagome. Nice to finally know my new roomies name!" I have no idea what a roomie is but I can feel a smile wanting to break free anyway. But I hold it back. She is going to think I am stupid or something with a smile plastered on my face all the time. Instead I turn and head back to where my home is. With her hurried to keep up I smile as I turn and grab all the bags that have been weighing her down.

"If you need help you should ask, I can hear you breathing a mile away." A short pause holds me up then. "Kagome was it? Why do you want to stay with me so much, you don't smell like the forest, you actually smell like one of the stores I past." Looking over to her she looks sad. The cold now eating threw her plus I think my question bothered her for some reason. The rest of the walk was in silence. I don't understand how she picked out so many bags or much less filled so many I feel like I gained at lest three hundred pounds with all the bags hanging from my arms. Going up the stairs and fitting threw the door proved to be a much harder task then the stairs. Dropping everything down on the floor in the middle of everything I let myself relax and in doing so becoming my furry self. By the time Kagome makes it threw the door I am all dog. She looks down at me and smiles.

"You know Inuyasha, I know you can't really reply to me right now and that is actually how I kind of want this." She looks away from me and her chest inflates with air as if something inside her is about to explode, in a sudden escape of air she opens her mouth again. "Well the thing is." Another long pause. "Okay the thing is I have not been in the forest, I been working for my sister." She gets up and goes over to the window. "Come here you can see the shop I worked in." now interested I bound over to her feet and she scoops me up. "See the one with the green top at the corner, that's where I have been, to be honest I always saw you up here. It made me sad. You never seemed to leave you just looked down on us like we were aliens. I." she takes in another deep breath. "I have been watching you for a while. I mean the hole dog thing I had no idea about but your handsome, and I just wanted to meet you and make you smile." Her grip slowly lets go of me and I am off tumbling to the ground. I stand and shake trying to throw off the pain that shot up my hind legs. Then look up to her. This woman actually cares.

Okay all you readers. That is it for the time being my eyes are killing me staring at my laptop. Need a break hopefully I will get one more chapter out before tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

I may not own Inuyasha and gang but I own this story of mine!

I have been afraid, afraid to be a human, I don't know what I can say to this girl. This Kagome. I mean how are you supposed to take the news of your long lost stalker that watches you everyday. She even went on in great detail of when I would go to the window. Scary. I don't know if I can handle this. I mean I want to tell her my past. But what if she leaves. Wait why would I care, its not like I would benefit from a stalker. But she just doesn't give of the stalker vibe. On the flip side though I have never been the stalked before. I have stalked people. I can feel my skin crawl as I think about admitting to that. I look over to the woman who is now cleaning everything she can find. She has bought a dog bed, much to my dismay, two twin beds. New dishes, pots, pans, forks, spoons, knifes, soap, shower curtain, toilet paper, tooth brushes, tooth paste, blankets, food, a TV, movies. You name it she bought it. But here I am in my furry form afraid to even be able to talk to her, to even say thank you. I want to but I can't. I don't know why she is trying to make this place look so good. Hell I am actually surprised that even with her going up and down the stairs so often and having the moving men up here, that the owner of this building has not kicked us out yet. Curling up on the dog bed she had brought back I close my eyes. Listening to her scurry around the house was enough to make me tired, she told me the other day I need to start cleaning more and taking better care of myself. Feh, if I don't want to clean my house, damn it I wont! And I hate showers, she made me take a bath this morning, and now I feel like a big fuzz ball. It stinks! But I do smell good, I have not weighted the good versus the bad yet, but the smell is defiantly good. Actually the whole place smells amazing to be frank. She wants me to paint the walls again to but I like my walls just the way they are damn it. Plus I am staying a dog. I refuse to wear the outfits she bought me. They are high-end kind of stuff, that kind of thing just will not suit me at all.

"Hey Yashie! Come here!" Kagomes' smile pokes its head out of the bathroom. I couldn't help but let my ears drop, first of all Yashie, really? And secondly…. WHY IS THIS WOMAN SO HAPPY ALL THE DAMN TIME! As I fume I slowly make my way over the new rug she had put in and to the bathroom. I could have sworn I almost made a mess on the floor. The bathroom. Was not a bathroom anymore, it was a large room with the beds in it. I thought she only ordered them. Plus when the hell did she have time to get a wall knocked out. And even more importantly the guy who owns this place is going to be so pissed! So I finally think it is time. Turning back to a human I open my eyes which are burning golden red at the moment. Her face is all red. I would laugh if I was not so upset.

"Really! I thought I told you that no one noes I am up here I am going to get kicked out woman! And why are you buying all this crap!" I can feel the heat radiating from me as I watch her look at anything but me.

"Well… I um, I thought you would like a forever home. And um I um wanted to make you smile again. I just. Well I . I just. I bought the upstairs from this guy who asked what the hell I was doing to his building and I said I found it and wanted it as I bought it and he gave it to me and I was sure you would be thrilled and I wanted to see you smile cuz your never a guy anymore and you always are sleeping or outside exploring and and." My mind was buzzing the rest that spilled out of her mouth was tuned out. She bought this place. She did it to see me smile. But I have been mean to her. I have not said a word to her. In fact I have not been human for over two months. I am a asshole!

"Kagome." I say this quietly and with my head down I feel so bad. But as soon as I speak it puts her miss placed emptions to a halt and she stops talking.

"Kagome, I am sorry. I am sorry for everything. I didn't mean to let you down. I don't know what to say." A long pause as she seems to be thinking everything over. Its almost as I can see the wheels in her mind slowly turning.

"Thank you. Now please for the love of god put some clothes on! Almost as soon as she said this I know my face is going completely red. I am so not used to having someone here with me.

"There look how freaking cute you look!" all I can think right now is fuck my life fuck my life fuck my life. For one I hate being dressed. And two I have fitted jeans with a dark dressy top on the kind you see only business people wearing it has a collar on it but I didn't button it up all the way. And I feel stupid.

"Feh!" is all I can muster to let escape my mouth in fear of sounding upset.

"Aww come on doggy you know you look hot!" her smile is from ear to ear. I swear her smile just kills me.

"One hot is a term I would use for a girl and two I don.."

"Hot is a great word to call you I mean come on look at yourself Yashie!" she seems delighted but I know I am starting to boil.

"Yashie? My name is Inuyasha. Get it? .A. not ie. A. and for real hot is what I would call you but not me I'm a…." my checks turn the reddest red ever. What did I just say!

"Oh ho! So you think I'm hot now do ya?" a little grin works its way over her lips and I can see I will never live this down.

"Well yeah. I mean you are a girl and you do look good." Suddenly the carpet becomes so much more amazing to stare at all.

"Then date me." Those three words were not what I was excepting to come from her. At the very lest I am kind of shocked.

"You are out of your mind woman!"

"I am not! But if you like me then why not date me?"

"Because you don't know who I am and what I have done how can you like me to if you don't even know about me. I have heard your whole life story you know." She looks pissed. I am scared.

"Well if you weren't hiding in that dog body and were a man I could talk to you. But all you do is turn back to a dog when you feel like it to avoid me!" that hurt. I really haven't told her anything. Plus she really doesn't understand that I cant help but turn back into a dog. It hurts to stay human. But I don't know if she will understand the rest of me. I have never told anyone about my past. But I really don't plan to.

"I'm sorry." At this I spin on my heels and head to the door.

"You suck!" the words cut me like a warm knife cutting into butter. I can't move my legs. I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything. It is not fair that she doesn't know.

Okay everybody I will get on with his past soon. Maybe tonight maybe tomorrow morning. I dunno. BUT! Hope you all enjoyed yet another chapter from me!


	5. Chapter 5

*I don't own InuYasha*

This has to be the longest night ever. After promising to tell Kagome all about me she seemed so excited, but all I can tell her is that I don't know. She seems happy even now that she is sleeping that tomorrow she will know all about the guy she has been stalking. But in reality she will only know what I know, and that is not much. I can just see the disappointment in her eyes. Watching her she looks so peaceful. Rolling over on the dog bed to my back I look at the walls and feel sad, for some reason even though the house looks a lot better and cleaner, it just doesn't look like home anymore I miss the dirt, I miss the old run down home with dirty windows. The walls are now fixed up and painted, the floors have been cleaned and varnished. The house has things that it would never have it is was just me. But I guess over time I can make this feel like home. I just can't help but think how she will hate me when I tell her about what I know. As I think of everything I can tell her, I feel the sleep slowly taking over me as I drift to sleep.

"Inuuuuuuuuuu! Wakey wakey!" Opening up my eye Kagome is kneeling next to me a smile glued to her face. Not wanting to wake up yet I roll over. She pokes me and a small growl comes out.

"Aww come on Inuyasha you promised, plus I made breakfast. I thought you might like something to put into your belly." She trailed off for a bit. Flopping my head over to look at her she looks kind of confused. "How did you survive so long if you never went shopping? I mean didn't you ever eat?" She is looking at me as if the answer was simple. Rolling over to get on my feet I head off to the bathroom, I hear her starting to follow me and I let out another growl. Rolling her eyes she turns and heads out the bedroom door. As I go into the bathroom I see a outfit laid out for me. Yet another outfit that looks to high end for me.

"Happy ma'am?" I say as I walk out into the kitchen to sit down. She looks over and a huge smile gets plastered to her face.

"Yes actually I am you look great!" she walks over with two plates full of food. Sliding one over to me she sits down and takes a huge mouth full of the eggs she made. "Now eat you, How can you go on so long with out eating."

Pushing the plate aside I look at her, "I just do, I don't like to eat kay." She rolls her eyes and pushed the plate back towards me.

"Eat of you will never get big and strong." She laughed a little and added, "Well how about if you don't eat you will never be a big dog." She starts laughing again and takes another bite of the breakfast.

"Well it is part of what I need to tell you." I look at her waiting for a reaction. She puts her fork down slowly looking at me confused. Finishing the food in her mouth she takes a deep breath and waits, as if not wanting to ask me what I ment. Sighing I decide it is time I tell her.

"When I was young, things were nothing like they were today. Actually it was not any time frame near today." Pausing I wait for her to day something but she doesn't so I go on, " Kagome I have been alive for a very very long time." Looking up at the ceiling I go on, "I have been around for thousands of years, I have not eaten at all really it makes me sick. As you can see I am not human." Looking back to her I stop talking wishing she would say something but she seems happy with just listening to me so I keep on going. "I turn into a dog, yes, but it is not really what I want to do. I don't do it all the time to run from things, it is because it hurts to much to stay a human. I mean when we went shopping that day I told you that I needed to go home, but… For some reason I was able to stay in my human form for a lot longer then normal with out it hurting to bad." She looks excited when I said this I smile at her and keep talking. "I really don't know what I can tell you. I know my mother died when I was young and as did my father. I know I have a brother somewhere but I don't know who he is. In fact I really don't know what I am, or better who I am. I don't know much about my past, or what I have done. To be honest I remember very little. But I do know that I have been in this building a very very long time. But other then that Kagome, I can't offer you anything else because I myself don't know anything else." I look down ready for her to yell. But nothing ever came. Looking up she looks happy.

"What?" Is all I can say. I am kind of scared she is going to leave.

"You actually told me. I did not think you would. But I am here now and I will help you. So for now nothing in the past matters." As she says this a huge smile goes across her face which seems to light up the room around us. I feel happy and tired still. I put my head down on the table and relax. She starts talking to me but I can't make it out I feel to tired to try to listen to her. Soon everything becomes black.

Alright readers sorry it has been so long since my last post, I have had a lot to do with college and what not. But hope you liked this chapter next one I will write to night as soon as I get some food.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Inuyasha**

I can't open my eyes they feel to heavy and sore. I can hear a lot of movement next to me but the voices are not coming in right, they sound more of a high pitched buzz. I want to move to but nothing is working the way I want it to. To be frank I am kind of scared, just thinking that I want to cringe, me scared that is something to laugh at. Now what did I do that made me feel like this? I can't remember. Straining my brain I play through what I have done. Lets see this morning I was looking out the window down at the people passing by on the road never seeing me up here. Again I felt alone. I was also disturbed by someone that came to the door. But who was it? The last thing I can think of was barking at the door while it slowly was pushed open. I don't remember who came in. I try to move but realize that right now it is no use to even attempt this because all I can feel are my fingers moving. Wait. Fingers? Now more then ever I want to open my eyes and see what is going on. I want to just open my eyes so bad. I feel like I might cry. Might. But won't. I have nothing to cry about, so what if I am hurt. Who do I know that would care I am gone. Better yet, who would know.

~Kagomes Pov~

Watching Inuyasha laying there on the floor I feel so helpless. I can't move him I can't even wake him up. Watching him he is slowly moving his hands and twitching every now and again. As the minutes become hours and the hours become days there is nothing I can do for him. I drag him over to the bedroom and get him up onto the bed.

The rain outside is beating against the windows like there is no tomorrow. Sitting at the kitchen table with my cereal I kind of drift off into my dream world again. Walking down on the beach with Inuyasha playing in the sand. Or going to a movie. Maybe even out for dinner. These kind of things make me laugh. Inuyasha would never go out of the house for to long to do something so "childish" with me. I have asked him when he was mad at me to go to the park and play ball. But after chasing him around the house and hitting my head on the table I gave up. I wonder when he will wake up. Sighing I take a sip of my tea and watch the rain.

Another three weeks have passed and I am really bored. I walk into the room and sit down by his bed and look at him. I have never seen him so relaxed as he is now. I wonder what he is dreaming about. As I watch him I get a idea. Standing up and running to the living room I grab the phone on the side table.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello, this is doctor Johns office. How may I help you?" a lady on the other end answers she also sounds like she hates her job.

"Um yes does the doctor make house visits?" I kind of want to bite my tongue on this I know Inuyasha wont like this, strange people over the house. But I have no other option right now.

"Yes he does, may I have your name and the reason for calling?" Thinking about it I can't really tell anyone what the problem is with him, nor can I tell them the fact that he has been out for over a month with no medical attention, no food, and no water.

"My um, husband… He passed out this morning and I can't wake him up." I want to die. He is going to kill me when he wakes up he will hate to know that I called him my husband. But I have to know that he is okay.

"Okay and what is your address?" The question made me smile.

"Do you know the old tower in the middle of the square, well I live on the 4th floor with him. It is all stairs though there's no elevator." I think of how odd that sounds but I really don't care at the moment.

"Okay ma'am the doctor should be there with in the hour." With that I hear the click on the line letting me know she hung up. Feeling a bit relived I go back to the bedroom and look down at Inuyasha he looks worried, like something is bothering him in his sleep.

~Inu Pov~

No matter how hard I try to open my eyes or wake up nothing is working. I can hear noises and what not of someone moving around me but I can't understand what is going on. I can hear my mom I think. But that doesn't make any sense. She is dead. I have to get up. Was I wrong all of these years, did she not die and I just thought she did and ran away? Whatever the reason I need to get up. There are no more games now. With everything I can muster I force myself to open my eyes but fail. Thinking hard on what I want and must do I try again but only push my mental a bit harder. Slowly I open my eyes but everything is not in focus it all looks like a blur. A figure appears over me and that ringing noise comes back that I am guessing is them talking. But there is another voice with this one now, a deeper ring. And with that a second figure comes into view. Now worried of where I am and who is around me I want to sit up and leave. Trying my hardest to sit up I get half way there before one of the figures pushes me back down. The buzzing is now driving me nuts. I can't understand what it is and it hurts to listen to. My head doesn't feel to good either. But I have to leave. Pushing to sit up again I hit aside the hands that are trying to hold me down and get to my feet. Rubbing my eyes a bit I can see now that there is a young girl here, who looks oddly familiar, and a old man who looks to be very tired and senile. Taking a step backward I look down at myself. I am human. And wearing clothes. But that's not right I should be my dog self. Trying hard I can't remember what happened to me. I don't even know how long I was just laying there trying to figure out what was going on. But what ever is happening I don't like it. I turn and leave the room that I was in and see the house is all different running to the window to look down. I don't think I can handle this. I am in my house, but why does it look like this?

"Inuyasha? Are you alright? You seem kind of upset… Please don't be mad at me I just called to make sure you were alright.. I didn't know you would wake up as soon as the doctor got here. I… I am sorry." A lady voice comes from behind me, turning around it was the same girl from the room.

"I'm fine. I guess. Could you tell me something?" I look at her as she think over the question.

"Yeah sure what do ya need ta know?" her face lights up as she smiles brightly at the question. I really don't want to ask this now. But I need to.

"Who are you?"

Okay guys, it is 4am, and I need to go sleep sorry again for the late updates, I will write another few chapters tomorrow hope you liked this chapter to. Happy reading :3


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Inuyasha**

A couple of days have past and this Kagome person won't stop talking to me. To be honest she is giving me a huge headache but I don't want to say anything to her. I have so many more matters I am concerned about then listening to this woman. For instance I can't go to my dog form. And this house I have no idea how it became to look like this I have walked around it millions of times and can not understand how this all happened in a night. Kagome keeps saying she has been here for almost 6 months. But I think she is full of it. I think I would remember the stuff she said I did and said. One thing that bothers me though is how she knows so much about me. Looking over to her she is sitting at the table staring at me. I hate when she does this. She kind of just gets into a trance where she just stares and cries. It annoys me to no end.

"Listen Ka-go-meee. If you think I am going to do a trick for you, I'm not. So you can just stop staring right now. What do I look like to you, a circus attraction?" Her face turned red as soon as the words escaped my mouth. Slamming her hands on the table she stands up.

"No Inuyasha, actually I am mad at you. How can you sit there and just lie to me like this. Saying you can't remember anything and kicking that doctor out like that, he could have helped you! You make me so mad all I have ever done for you is help and you do this to me!" she looks as if she will start spitting fire at me if I don't tell her what she wants. This woman is scary.

"I think you have completely lost it. Honestly I told you I don't know who you are!" now she looks ready to kill me.

"I have put up with this for long enough, if you want me gone just say so. You don't need to pretend not to know me." She looks sad all of a sudden. I feel kind of bad now.

"Lets go for a walk." Her face lights up as if she wanted to hear something like this. Sighing with relief I go to the door and push it open. Walking down the stairs red flashes in my eyes it is like a blinding light.

**Walking down the old riverbed hand in hand with her I look over and see she is crying. **

"**Inuyasha, when I go I promise I will find a way to get to you. I will make it back and I will help you again." **

Looking around I am still in the stair case with Kagome, she is looking at me with concern in her eyes. This woman. She was with me many years ago. But how?

Sitting with Kagome in the park she got ice cream and is licking it happily. I want to ask her so much but I am not sure she will have any of the answers I am looking for. But I wish she did. Looking sideways at her I notice for the first time how beautiful she is. She looks so warm and caring. Reaching over for her I pull her into a hug. She tenses up in my arms but soon relaxes and hugs me back.

*Aww how cute. He is falling for her. Okay so recap the bold is a flash back from Inuyasha past if you didn't understand that. So I will be getting another chapter out tonight maybe two depends on how fast I can type and if I can get rid of my writers block.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Laying in the bed staring at the ceiling I think of the past day and a half. In the park with Kagome, to walking home with her singing, to waking up to her dancing around the house. I have been thinking more and more and remembering more and more. I do remember now that I did let her into my life. But as to why I still can't say. Maybe it was because deep down I knew I wanted someone to talk to. Or maybe it was because I have gone insane. Both are acceptable answers to me. She had said this morning that maybe it was like Cinderella. That once I told someone about me and shared myself that I could finally become who I need to be. But I don't really know if I want to believe that. It all seems to easy. I wish there was someone from my past or family that I could talk to. I want to know more about myself. For the longest time I was happy being alone and locked away up here by myself. I didn't care that I knew nothing. In fact I kind of felt happy that way. It was easier to think like that then deal with the pain of knowing no one wanted me around. But laying here now I feel the happiest I have ever been. But one thing does bug me above all else. Why did I push everyone away before. Is there a reason I made it so I was alone. My memory from the other day on the stairs bugs me to. That woman looked just like Kagome. And if she is tied into my past somehow, how did she know to find me again. Getting lost in thought I barely noticed Kagome come in with a giant box. That is until she dropped it right on top of me. Wincing at the sudden pain in my mid section I sit up.

"What in the hell is this?" I ask curiosity getting the best of me. She starts laughing and says open up. Looking over the box and taking a deep breath in I now do not what to know. It smells like a dog. And that is the last thing I want. But I would have to open it sooner then later, plus I am pretty sure she would open it if I didn't. So grabbing a pen on the night stand I gently slide it the length of the tape on the top of the box. And sure enough, a puppy. Sitting in his own pee looking up at me. How disgusting is what I am thinking but what comes out.

"How cute…" my face is twisted as I let this out but want with all my might to push the box plus the dog off the bed and set it on fire to get rid of the horrible smell that is now filling the room up.

"Is there a way to make it smell less like piss and more like. I don't know something less vomit inducing?" she begins to laugh loudly before she picks up the puppy.

"You know Inu, he looks like you did when you were a doggy. Now look into these eyes and say no to him." She says this with a huge smile as she shoves the dog into my face.

"Feh that's a easy one." Looking at the dog in the face, "No." rolling off to the other side to get out of the bed I inch closer to the door and for the air freshener. Once I have it in hand I put it behind my back and go close to the dog and Kagome who is looking at me with a face that says don't you dare. Now letting a smile sneak across my face I bend over and bring the can close to the dog. The dog smells it and starts howling. Dropping the can I cover my ears.

"Dear god where is the mute button on that thing!" twisting my face up Kagome starts laughing harder then ever the dog that was in her arms slide out and to the floor as she holds her sides.

"Well while you calm yourself over there." I pause while shooting her a glance. I turn and scoop up the dog. "You are coming with me dog." Walking out of the room Kagome scrambles to stop me but her arms glued to my mid section and feet dragging behind don't slow me down.

"Relax woman I won't hurt it." I stop walking and look to her to see her smile as she sighs.

"You promise Inu?" she looks up with huge brown eyes almost as if begging.

"Sure I promise I wont hurt him… Much." Pushing her arms off me I take off to the stairs with her right behind me. I come to a stop at the stairs and look to the dog who looks at me with a happy puppy face. It kills me as I mutter out.

"Today mutt, it is your lucky day." Placing the dog on the floor I use my foot to push him to the door and inside. "Welcome home." Next thing I know I'm on the floor with Kagome on top of me.

"Wooooooooo! See you are a good guy. And I knew you couldn't say no to him. Now name him." She stops and waits for me to make up my mind. About 5 minutes later and new scratches from the dog trying to climb up on me to get to Kagome. I sit up making both of them fall to the floor.

"Okay well if you want me to I will. I will name him. Uhhhhhhh." Rubbing my chin I try to think hard about the name that this thing will have for the rest of its life. Looking at the dog my mind kind of blanks.

"I have no idea." I say rubbing the back of my head. Hopping Kagome drops it and names the thing herself. But no such luck.

"Well think about it for a while and tell me his name later." She stands up and dusts herself off.

"But I don't wanna I have no idea what I shou…"

"No buts! You will name him cuz he is yours. Get it? Got it? Good! Now name him!" the headache is slowly creeping back.

As the day went by the dog would not leave me alone. Even when I went off to pee he was at my heels and sat and watched. It was kind of creeping me out. But no matter what I did that dog was following me. So as we were watching a movie Kagome liked a lot, something with a lady and dresses. I got the idea for his name.

"How about Shadow?" Kagome looked over at me lazily and smiled. She looked to tired to talk or reply to me. A grin spread across my own face. She was cute when she was tired like this. But will I ever tell her. Probably not. I am Inuyasha, I need no one! Plus I have a heart made of stone. I would just hurt her in the end anyways. Standing up I walk over to her and scoop her up walking to the room she falls asleep in my arms. I put her down on the bed and pull the covers up over her and smile. For some reason I think I am falling in love with her. But I think she doesn't feel the same. I feel like she just wanted to move in with me to get away from her sister. Or who ever she said she lived with. It hurts to think about that. I go back out to the living room and turn the light off along with the tv. Opening up the window I look down to the street below. Watching the people walk by makes my nerves calm down and my mind relax. As I watch the people go I notice someone who is not moving. Instead they are staring up at me. A little shaken up I lean back and close the window. Going to the stairs now I want to know who this person is. But walking out the door I don't see them any more. Frowning I make my way back up the stairs. Opening the door I think about the person they looked so familiar as if I have seen them moving along the busy street below many times before, but I am sure I have not. Turning and going to the sofa I lay down and decide its bedtime. Today has been to long for me to want to do anything else. And the sofa is comfy enough were I will get a good nights sleep. So as I fall asleep Shadow curls up between the sofa and my legs and starts snoring. At lest he wont leave me.

Okay guys. My brain hurts and I and trying to figure out where to go with the story now. Any suggestions for what you guys want to see or read let me know?


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Walking back in forth across the carpet I am sure I am going to make a burned line into it. I had another flash back from my past. It looked like Kagome but in the feudal era. We had been sitting on the riverbed just like before. This time however we had been talking about her coming death and how I need to protect myself. She had said "A curse to be forgotten, time will take its toll. The promise never kept, till eternity he will lose. Till his lover is reborn, a dog will be his form." Rubbing my head again I think over this. I don't remember being cursed. But the rest of this all matches up. I mean a curse to be forgotten. Well I forgot what the curse is. Then time will take its toll. I can put that into I could only be human for so long before it hurts. The promise the lady made to me way back then was broken. She had said she would help me but died. I am also guessing eternity will I lose is that whoever cursed me did not expect my lover to come back. But this thing that gets me is that till my lover is reborn a dog will be my form. If Kagome is truly my old lover in a new body. Wouldn't I already be a human once she was born? Or did I have to know she was born and then talk to her about all that I know to break the curse. I feel tired of thinking all this over and let my body fall to the ground. Leaning back Shadow jumps on my stomach. He happily licks my face. Petting him lazily I run over the options of the curse again and again. Kagome is not home she decided to go visit her family to say hello to them and let them know she was okay. I have been here for about 4 hours by myself and it has gone by so slowly. Pushing Shadow off of me I roll to my belly and crawl to the fridge, Kagome got this stuff called Monster. I am addicted. I have been drinking this stuff all day. And let me tell you I want to go do something like running for miles on end. Sitting down on the sofa I turn on the TV and flip through channels. Finding a cartoon I settle with it and lean back to watch the show. As the minutes drag by I decide it is time for me to get comfy. Throwing the shirt Kagome had picked out for me across the room and along with the pants I am left with my boxers. Sprawling out I feel so much better. Clothes are so restricting to me. I would rather run around in my birthday suit, and since it doesn't look like Kagome will be home any time soon, might as well get comfy. Looking at the window I think back to when it was just me. I miss it yet I don't. I like having Kagome around, plus it gives me someone to talk to, I have not have that in ages. The show on the TV goes from one to another and the clock keeps ticking forward. Bored now I go on over to the table and start to scribble down the riddle I got earlier.

"A curse to be forgotten, time will take its toll. The promise never kept, till eternity he will lose. Till his lover is reborn, a dog will be his form." Tapping the pencil on my chin I think for a bit then start to write down more. A curse was placed on me many years ago, time only allowed me so much time to be human, the promise my old lover made to be was broken with her death, I can not die by normal means. Once my love is reborn I will be free of the dog form I take on. Kagome set me free, so Kagome must be my one true love. If that is right then the reason she found me and came to me is because her past self willed her to even though she may not remember making the promise to me. I stop writing for a bit and think a little longer then write down one last thing. I think I might love her, I hope she feels the same. Throwing the pencil aside I pull on my pants and shirt then walk to the window, it's raining so I grab my coat walk to the door and open it up grabbing the leash as I walk by it as Shadow runs past me and down the stairs I lock up the door. Walking down the old dirty stairs brings back so many memories of before, when I first found this place it was raining and I was in my dog form, I had seen a man run out of here and left the door open. On my way to the stairs the same man kicked me into the wall, it hurt bad and I ended up with a broken leg and a nice cut down my side. Sighing I push the thought out of my head. I am happy now. I don't need to think about such things they will bring me no good. Reaching the bottom step by the door I bend over and hook Shadow up to the leash and push the door open it is starting to rain a little bit harder and the wind is kicking up, pulling my coat up close to my neck I walk to the tree with the dog and let him relieve himself. He barks for a bit and stares into one direction, following his line of gaze I see the man from yesterday looking at me again. I grab Shadow and run up the stairs putting him in the house and locking the door. Leaping down the stairs I fling open the door and look around to the left the man is still standing there with a wicked smile on his face, to my right Kagome is now calling my name and running to me. Cringing I take off to the left at full speed, as I get near him the man turns and darts off, but I am not giving up I keep on his tail. Getting to a clearing he stops and turns to face me coming to a halt I stop just inches from him. He smells familiar, like me somehow. He reaches up and I feel myself tense up getting ready for a blow, but he instead pulls his hood down and looks to me. He has long white hair like mine, he also has dark purple marks on his cheeks. He sighs before he opened his mouth up.

"Inuyasha, dear brother. I thought it would come to this soon." A smile creeps over his face. "Falling for the same human woman all over again are we, well even so I am not so ashamed to call you my brother any more. At lest now that you are not the dog anymore. How foolish of you to let that old hag curse you. But what is done is done. All that matters now is that everything can start to fall back into place." He looks to the sky and pauses as if thinking things over. I can feel myself shaking.

"Brother! Ha! I have no brother! If I did they would have helped me! But you.. You left me alone for how many years letting me wonder as to what I am, even better is who I was. It was all a lie a mystery. And you just let it happen!" I can feel the blood rushing faster and my heart beat picking up pace. As his face slowly shifts from the sky to me the grin that sneaked across his face vanishes.

"My dear Inuyasha, you do realize who you are talking to, am I wrong? So why use such a harsh tone. If I wanted to I could end your life right here and now. So go ahead and try addressing me again." His face turns to stone as he talks, the little glint of life seemed to killed where it was and replaced with someone who has murdered many times. I can feel a shiver run threw my body. Taking a deep breath I say.

"Kill me then. But as far as I care, you are no brother of mine. Of all the things I had to do, I did it alone. And now, only now, will you talk to me because I am no longer a dog. You fail to realize who I am 'brother' don't make me laugh. You have nothings just as I did." In an instant he was gone, and in the next his arm is around my throat in a death grip.

"Oh my, it does seem you have a temper still. Well shall I put you in your place?" A cold glare is all he gives me as I push at his arm. Instead of saying anything of knowledge to him, the simplest thing I can think to do happens.

"Screw off!" with that I spit on his face. A look of disgust crawls over his stony features. I almost instantly regret this decision. As soon as the shock of this is lost he throws me into the nearest tree.

"Inuyasha do you really think you can stand up to me. The great Sesshomaru! Oh how father must be turning in his grave. Such a weakling you are, and yet you want to fight." With his speed I have problems watching him, as he comes at me and rams his hand threw my stomach. All I can do is hold on to his hand and hope he retreats. The touch of his hand makes me jump, it was cold as if no life is running through his veins. A small grin dances across his lips, as the rain gets harder. Pulling his hand out of my stomach with great speed I double over trying to ease the pain. If only I had something to fight with, a stick, a brink, a knife. Anything would be welcomed right now. Looking up at him he is looking down on me with the stony face again.

"Why? If you really are my brother, then why?" leaning forward I grab on to his leg and try to pull myself up.

"Why you ask? That should be simple. If I wanted such a weak and useless brother I might as well settle for a human. You disgrace fathers blood but just having it run threw your body." With that he kicks me off of him and onto the ground. His foot comes crashing down on my body. Wincing at the pain I try to push him off.

"I think it is you who disgraces 'father' treating your own flesh and blood like this!" a grim look sneaks up on him. He grabs me by the arm and pulls me up his face almost touching mine.

"You have no right to talk about father or me in that way. You are but a half breed who has lost his way. Thinking you can stand up to me is something to laugh at. You have nothing, you are nothing, and you will be nothing." He twists me around and holds my arm up high in the middle of my back making it impossible for me to move.

"Coming from a man who calls himself my 'brother' what have you ever done for me. What have you done to make 'father' approve of what you do. Have you ever thought that he might be rolling in his grave because of you." A sharp pain starts from my side, looking down he has a knife. Really of all things a knife. The coward used a knife!

"If I wanted your advise I still probably would not take it little brother. You did not know father, and yet you feel the need to dishonor him by saying such nonsense. If you had an ounce of an idea of what father was you would be running with your tail between your legs from me, but yet you continue to run your mouth as if you know." Shoving me to the ground I struggle to push myself up again.

"Well apparently you have no idea either, maybe I am his son because I have no fear of someone like you. Maybe I can understand what you can't. Or maybe you wish you were me." His foot makes contact with the side of my head and I get tossed to the side.

"You make light of who I am brother. I am being nice, whether you want to believe it or not. Let me clarify myself. If you were not my brother you would be dead for saying such things to me. You are a sad excuse for a demon." Pulling me up by the back of my shirt he grabs my throat again. "If I were you I would stop trying to act tough, there is no one here to see you try and be a hero. Or rather, there is no one here to see you act like such a fool." The harshness of his voice sends chills down my spine, but I don't want to back down, not when I am this close to finding out who I am. Grabbing his hand I pry his fingers off my neck. With all my might I try to push away from him.

"You have no idea what it is like wishing you could die. You have no idea what it is like to not know who you are, and yet here you are mocking me for these things. I may not know you, but I know well enough that you will be no use to me!" he pauses his assault and looks at me as if thinking over what I just said. He lets go off me and I fall to the ground.

"You are right little brother I do not know such things. But you see, that is because I do not let myself fall for such childish things. Loving a human. That is off limits. And you wonder why this happened to you." He looks down at me with a look of hate.

"You said I am a half breed right, well that means father must have loved a human to!" at this his face turned red and he picked me up and threw me like a stick, a tree stops me from flying in the air. As I slide down it I can feel the pain getting worse and my head getting light.

"Don't think for a minute that you know what father was like, or what he did. He died protecting you, a mere mutt. And yet you talk to me as if father was compared to you. You must think you are some big man to say such things. I should kill you right now for even thinking these things." As the blood spilling out of me gets worse I can feel myself losing grip of what is going on.

"I am closer to father then you will ever be Sesshomaru." As I say this I can feel his hand intertwine with my hair as he pulls me up to his level, my head feels like it is burning off. Opening my eyes I can see blood just falling from me. He smiles as if to say I won.

"Now dear brother. I think I made this clear, when you are willing to show the resect I should be given maybe I will tell you of the past but here you are still the same, undeserving mutt you have always been." I can feel the blood rushing up to my mouth and slowly dripping out at the corners. Holding the hole in my stomach I look at him and frown deeply. As he raises his arm he drops me to the ground. "Remember your place Inuyasha." And with that he disappears from sight. Looking down at my body I can't tell what is what, blood is just pooling around me and my head starts to fog. Just like old times. The pain from the past floods my head and I stand, slowly to make my way back home.

Walking down the street the lights start to blur together, the greens and reds from the traffic lights seem to dance into one as the rain and wind beat at my skin. The people rushing past with their umbrellas knock into me, but I cannot feel a thing, the only thing I know is that I am in quickly fading. The longer I walk the more numb I become. As the night sky gets darker the rain gets heavier. The side streets only lite up by the occasional lightning flickering across the sky. Finally the building I live in comes into view in the window I can see Kagome looking down at the street but I don't think she can see me. Pulling open the door I struggle to get up the stairs, each step I take the more dizzy I become, the old wood of the stairs being painted slowly with the blood falling from me and the old cement wall being lined with a small layer of it to. When I get to the top I lean on the door and with the little strength I have left hit the door with my hand. Almost wishing that any moment now I would wake up on the sofa, that this was all a dream. Kagomes' voice from the inside yells "Coming!" and I start to fade in and out. As she opens the door, which is my support, I fall into the house and land with a thud on the ground, and I can hear her screaming but the rest I can not understand.

Okay readers, a couple of you wanted fighting, so here it is. Let me know what you think in the reviews or the private messages. I am open for suggestions.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Inuyasha, yada yada do I really have to put this here**

Slowly opening my eyes the sudden flood of bright light makes me flinch. It is daytime if I had to guess I would say almost noon. I can still hear rain abusing the old building as it pelts the earth. Thinking about what happened I slowly look down at my body, bandages cover most of what I can see while the rest is covered with a blanket. Scanning the room quickly I don't see any living thing. Kagome must be in the other room, almost as if answering my question I hear her yell at Shadow in the room over. Sitting up proves to be a straining task. Once up I swing my feet off the bed and onto the warm carpet, taking a deep breath I heave myself off the bed. As I slowly make my way to the bathroom I can hear Shadow sniffing the other side of the door and Kagome shush him and throw something in his direction, chuckling I shake my head and look in the mirror. My face looks tired and my hair messy. But other then that I don't look bad, pulling the bandaged off of me I examine what the damage is. To my surprise all the wounds look almost completely healed. A little bit of blood still remains on some of my skin but other then that nothing looks out of place. Turning on the shower I stick my hand under to feel the water, once it feels good I pull off my pants and boxers and step in. I jump at the sudden coolness of the water and turn the heat up. Grunting I grab some soap and wash my body still looking at everything to make sure I am okay. Strange I think, how could this happen. It can't have been over a day and I feel fine, maybe it was a dream and I fell down the stairs or something. As the water slides down my back I grab a shampoo bottle and look at it. Almost wanting to face palm I put it back down and grab the one next to it. Why in the world is there dog shampoo in the shower. Rolling my eyes I rub the shampoo in between my hands before slapping it onto my hair. Humming a song the door clicks open.

"Inuyasha?" Kagomes voice comes in shaken and concern. I feel horrible for what happened she must have been so scared.

"Yeah?" I wish I could step out and hug her but I would probably end up getting hit right now. So I wait for her reply.

"You shouldn't be up and moving." Her voice sounds sad and the smell of salt drifts to my noise, she must have been crying. A frown spreads across my face.

"I'm fine Kagome, I'm sorry." I can hear her sigh and close the bathroom door behind her. I want to go say I'm sorry and give her a hug. A big hug, so sticking my head under the water I get the soap out as quickly as I can. Turning the water off I can feel the goose bumps forming from the cool are outside of the shower. Drying off quickly I threw on the pajama pants I brought in with me and walked out into the kitchen and looked around. Kagome was sitting at the table with her head in her arms. It looks like she fell asleep. Slowly sneaking up to her side I bend over to look at her face. She has her eyes closed, it looks like she hasn't slept yet. The dark rings around her eyes make her look older then she is. She smells strongly of salt and iron. My guess, she cleaned me up and has been crying all night. She looks so worried though I feel horrible doing this to her I should not have come home last night I should have stayed under the tree. Frowning I poke her side. Her eyes dart open and looks at me. Almost instantly she starts crying again.

"Inuyasha are you really okay?" her nose is drooling and tears flood out of her eyes. I give her a soft smile.

"Yes I am can't you see?" I stand up letting her see my body more clearly. As she looks me over I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"How…. How are you okay?" she looks so puzzled about all of this.

"I told you I didn't know what I was right?" I look down at her and she looks back nodding her head to say yes. "Well last night. I followed this guy he said he was my brother. He was cold and hated the world it seemed but he told me I was a half breed, a demon. So I am guessing. That is why I am okay." The end of my sentence kind of trails off thinking about what he said. It hurt finding out I have a brother. And it hurt even more to know that my brother hates me. Looking down to Shadow who is all over me I reach down and pet him. He seems so happy to have me home and brings his toy over and sticks it in my hand. Smiling I throw it for him. Looking back at Kagome she is back to looking at my body. Blushing even deeper then before I clear my throat.

"Ahh! Sorry I just uhhh. Forget it." She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. "I wanted to ask you." She looks down at her hands. Waiting for her to continue she doesn't.

"Wanted to ask me what?" I am now confused. What else could she ask about. I rake my brain to think of what else I did to or say that could be followed by more questions. Looking at the paper I can feel my face start to pale. That's what I wrote last night before running off. Shit. How could I leave it on the table. I mentally kick myself. She looks up at me slowly.

"Do you really mean what you wrote? Is it all true?" now looking anywhere but at her I don't know what I should say. I mean she was not supposed to see that. I have no idea what to tell her I can't just say yes I think I love you. She would probably get creeped out and leave. I don't want her gone. I would be to lonely. "Inuyasha!" bring me back to earth with her voice I snap my eyes to hers.

"Yeah… I didn't mean for you to see that…" This was probably not the right thing to say because her face is now turning a nice shade of red. But she looks more angry then anything. "Kagome please don't be mad, please." I feel like I'm begging her now. She answers by turning the other way and I can hear her soft cry as the smell of salt comes back into the air. Leaning over I reach for her chin and pull her face towards mine and softly kiss her. "Yes Kagome I am in love with you."

Okay that's all for tonight. More tomorrow. I promise. Now I am off to youtue. Happy reading. I hope I put out enough chapters for you all to read today!


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Inuyasha**

The sun shining brightly today it is a warm welcome from all the rain we have had. Sitting against the wall by the window I watch Shadow run in circles trying to get his tail. I can feel a smile slowly sneak up across my lips. Leaning my head back onto the wood of the window frame I close my eyes. It has been a while since Kagome has spoken to me. She has hardly been to the house either. She said she was going to stay with her family for a while to get her head straight. It has been a whole week. And I have had nothing to do. Scratching my ear absent-mindedly I frown. I told her I loved her. And all she could do was slap me and walk out. It still stings to think about. But what do I care, it is not like she will like me for long. Once she starts to grow old I will stay young, she will begin to hate me. She leaves. Yada yada same old same old. As if to pull me out of my thoughts the old tug in my chest happens again.

Rubbing my chest a string of profanities escape my mouth. Rolling on my side I try to fight off what is happening to me. But no matter how much I fight I will lose.

Depressed and sad is all I am feeling right now. Stupid woman, leaving without even a goodbye or a warning. It has been now three months and I can't turn human anymore. Something happened. I keep trying but nothing works. Poor shadow is confused to. I did my best to feed and water him, but seeing as I am a dog to it is kind of pointless. I ripped the bag of food open and got the tub full of water. But it wont be to long before we will have to go out on a trip for food. Rolling my eyes at the thought I make my way slowly to the window and jump up resting my paws on the ledge to look down on the world. Scanning the crowd trying to find a place to go with Shadow. No luck, I don't know enough about the world down there to actually get around. I hear Shadow scratching the door as some one knocks on the other side. Running to the door a growl escapes me. Tilting my head to the side I listen as carefully as I can for a clue as to who is here. The person knocks again only louder this time, this makes Shadow start to bark and of course I know have a strong urge to join in. Resisting the urge I look at Shadow as if to say 'shut up you stupid dog' he looks at me and sits down as if saying sorry. Who ever is out there sighs big and their footsteps start to lead away. I can feel the sadness wash over me like a wave. I was hoping for Kagome. Or at lest someone to open the damn door up. I tilt my head to the side to look to Shadow who is wagging his tail. How can that thing be so happy all the time?

Days have past and nothing has changed except the condition of the house. Apparently Shadow can't hold it long enough to make it to the bathroom. I tried to show him to go in there. Obviously it didn't work. The walls in here are starting to look like a prison, a reminder of what I had for so short of a time. Now looking around all I feel is sad at the thought of losing what I cherished so much. Even though I hate her now there is part of me that wants her back. Thinking of what I put her through though I can't say I blame her for running. If I were human and walked into something like this I probably wouldn't have stayed half as long as she did. Now all I can do is wait. Looking at the clock my eyes get heavy and I let myself drift to sleep.

A crash wakes me up my first response is looking to shadow under the kitchen table. Seeing as it wasn't him I look around the room to see what made the noise, on the sofa a man is sitting there smiling at me. A growl comes up as I see whom it is. My 'brother' has decided to pay me a visit. Oh boy.

Okay everyone first off sorry on the delay with the new chapter college has been giving me a crap ton of work to do and not much room for error. Secondly I got a couple of responses in private saying to have Kagome go away or bring Fluffy back. Well you guys got both. I have no idea what direction to bring this in now. But leave a response or a private im whatever you want to do letting me know what you want to see. I only got three last chapter, which is not much seeing you guys have been adding my story. So I want to hear what everyone has to say to start talking. And for the third point. I will be going back through the chapters and redoing the ones I feel doesn't have enough detail in. I will keep putting out new chapters as I rewrite the old ones and let you know what chapters are updated as I go along. And as always happy reading


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Inuyasha, but I do own this story**

The long silence is only broken by Shadow as he plays with a toy around the house. But between Sesshomaru and me a staring contest has been in under way since he arrived. The smile he had sported upon arrival has long since vanished replaced instead with a look unreadable to me. As he sits there I feel like he is looking into my soul it makes me uneasy I wish I could talk to him or at the very lest have him say something. I am not really ready for a replay of what happened between us last time. As the seconds drag by he seems to grow tired of this as am I but things really aren't changing. He is still sitting there staring at me and I am still sitting here staring at him. It is like a stale mate. Neither one of us wants to start off what is going to happen next. He lets out a long low sigh and as he gets to his feet he pulls off the old dirty robe that he has been wearing. Underneath is a white outfit with red on it, with a yellow and blue belt wrapped loosely around his waist. He pushes his hands up to the ceiling as he stretches and yawns. Taking a couple of steps to me I take a few back. The fight still fresh in my mind I am wary of him getting to close.

"Stay still little brother, today is hardly the time to fight." At this he crouches down next to me and places a hand on my head. A warm feeling runs through out my body as I can feel myself leaving the dog form I had been stuck in. Looking up at the man now confused I have to ask.

"Are you sure you aren't going to try and kill me, cuz if you are I should at lest be allowed some clothing for my own peace of mind. I wouldn't want someone finding me naked and dead." A smile creeps across his face and his eyes seem to lighten up. "Hey this isn't a joke I am being honest here!"

"I am merely playing with the idea of killing you, that is all. But for my sake, you should get dressed. If anything at lest some pants will suffice." With this he stands up and moves back to the sofa and sits back down. "I have a lot to talk with you about today Inuyasha. I assure you killing you is not on the agenda. But I will not have you arguing with me either. If you decide that is what you want to do I will simply leave. But I have come today to free you of your worries." As he talks I go to the room and grab a pair of shorts and pull them on coming back out I plop to the floor wondering what today is going to be like.

"So how did ya do that?" he looks to me with questioning eyes. "Ya know making me human." Frowning as I say this I think that he could have helped me this whole time, but he said no arguing and I still want to know so much.

"Little brother, believe it or not, we used to be very good friends. I can see you have all to well pushed those memories out of your mind. But I guess I can't blame you to much. Things that happened to you would have drove you insane if you remembered." He looks at me with a playful look. "Are you ready to go insane tonight?" I can feel a yip pull at me and it escapes my mouth.

"Yes actually I am how much do you know?" He leans back and scratches his head as if in deep thought.

"I know everything." As he looks down to me again the wind kicks up outside and sends leaves and what not flying into the house. Rushing to try to close the window I see now how he got into the house. Broken. Looking at him I kind of wanna yell. I mean my window, the only thing shielding me from the elements is now broken. Pulling the curtain shut I walk back to my spot on the floor and sit back down a small shiver running up my back.

"Can I ask you something?" depression seemed to be pooling back into my gut.

"Yes?" he seems amused at the question.

"If you know everything, and can change me out of a dog. Why haven't you come to me before. And why did you try to kill me last time I saw you, you said we were good friends." The pain of being all alone suddenly finds its way back into my body making me feel numb and cold.

"Little brother, you misunderstand. I have not gotten close to you for so long because I could not. If I did the magic would burn away my skin. You were put under such a heavy curse. As to trying to kill you, I was not. I was simply seeing how much you remember and how good you can still fight. Both of which is next to none." he looks down to me and frowns. "You look horrible." He gets up and drapes the robe across my shoulders, which is surprisingly warm and feels good on my cold skin. "You know how hard is was watching you put yourself into such a large pit of self misery. Back in the day you would walk with your head held high and a hop in your step you were so happy back then. Not a care in the world. Best fighter around besides me. But you had to fall in love with the human."

"The lady who cursed me?" he had my full attention everything he said I wanted to just soak up into my head.

"No she actually tried to break the curse. Would you let me tell you the story?" nodding my head yes I watch as he goes back to the sofa and can't help but inch closer to him getting ready for the story of my past.

"Many years ago you and I were the most powerful beings the world had known. Father had died and you were left with the human woman that birthed you. After a while she fell ill and died. You went wondering fighting everyone you came across human or demon it mattered not you killed them where they stood. I had heard of the woman's death and of the many you killed and went to find you. Your mother did not want anything to do with demons and tried to keep you away from the world of it all. But your instincts took over at her death and you went out of control. So finding you I took you with me, trained you, and helped you improve your skills. You understood not to kill humans and only demons. You learned fast and became strong. For years we walked the earth having a good old time. We had made it back to japan. And you found Nazume. She was a priestess and you fell in love. I stayed by your side as you became soft and started to become soft myself. But the people of the village did not like the priestess falling for a demon. They began to start an uproar and protest to the love you two shared. But both of you refused to leave each other's side. Out of anger a man in the village took it upon himself to fix the 'problem' and went of to the mountains to the old hag they called Luna. She was a witch. And a strong one at that, but very old and growing weaker as the days past. I was with you and Nazume the day Luna came to the village and found us. I had pushed you to leave but you refused to run saying you were to stay by Nazume no matter what happened. The old witch placed a curse on you, it was ment to kill you and leave the priestess alone, but something went wrong. I guess in her old age she said it wrong. She had turned you into a dog. As the days past the priestess grew weak and ill. She spent most of her day by the river as did you. I would watch from afar. I could not get close to you any more I had tried and tried but to no use. One day you two were sitting down at the river side and she had told you she promised to help you escape the curse, not knowing though that by her saying this she completed the misplaced curse the witch put upon us. She died in a matter of minutes after that. You had not left the spot for days, even after the village found her and took her body away, I feared you may have lost your mind. But instead you were making yourself forget everything that transpired in your life up until that point to protect your mind a horrible grief. Not only did you lose your love, but your only and only family disappeared. It hasn't been until recently that I was able to get close to you again. Doing research into your life I found the girl, Kagome. I have looked down the family line and she is a long descendant of Nazume and naturally fell in love with you. She is Nazume in so many words. However she holds no memories of what has happened in the past. She ran because she can feel the power within herself growing and fears that it is because of you." He leans back and rubs his eyes as if that took a lot out of him. I sit here willing him to go on I want to know so much more.

"Is there more?" looking at him with egger eyes waiting. The feeling all washed away by the story of all of this. I still can't remember any of it but I want to hear more.

"Little brother I can see you don't remember and I would like to help you open your mind." Leaning forward as he says this he places his hand back on my head. I can feel my body getting warm again and I want to run but I can't. Suddenly all of these memories he has been talking about and so much more flood back into my head. Fighting back tears at it all I can't move now. The hurt, the guilt, the shame, everything that I should have remembered and felt now returned to me is so much to handle. I can feel the tears running down my checks but can't make an attempt to push them aside. Everything seems frozen on me. "Do understand Inuyasha if you want me to take them away I can. But that is up to you." It is like I am listening to him speak through ten brick walls. All I can do is look up at him in. Hoping he can understand I need these memories. "Understood." Is all he says as he sits next to me and puts his arm over my shoulders and lets me fall into him. Just like I used to do so many years ago.

**All righty hope this chapter is better and longer for all of you. I know I have been putting out short ones lately. But I will try to keep them like this. Hope you guys like it and give me more ideas for more chapters to come! Happy reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Inuyasha**

The cold wind against my skin makes me want to wake up and move, but everything running though my head keeps me where I am. Silent tears still going down my face slowly. I can't help but feel bad for pushing these thoughts away as if they ment nothing to me. I was the one who created this misery and I am the one who chose to wallow in it for so long. I miss Kagome but she is scared to come here. Nazume was a powerful priestess and had unbelievable powers. I can only guess at what Kagome can do. Hearing the door open up and close I roll over to see Shadow running in followed by Sesshomaru. He has a look of disgust written all over him looking at me his face twists up.

"You!" in one swift movement he is over me hands around my neck. "You better be thankful that all the shit is gone from your home now!" at the look on his face I would have guessed that it was something far worse to make Sesshomaru make such a fuss. A smile creeps up over my lips making him look even more enraged, but at this a laugh comes up from my stomach. "You are making a mistake laughing at me little brother." He lets go of me and turns his back to me. Sitting up I look at his back, what can I do to make him laugh. Thinking back to the times way back when I got the perfect idea. Standing quickly I pounce at him laughing and pinning him on the floor I lick my finger and shove it right in his ear. A grunt is all he lets out as his whole body vibrates as if he is going to explode. As the laughter escapes him he stands up making me fall off of him. "I missed you Inuyasha. Things got lonely from a far." He is looking to the ceiling saying this but I feel my heart grow warm at the words. I want to say I missed you to, but I never knew who he was. But looking back on everything now, I did miss him. Frowning I inch closer and hug his leg. He always hated this but I can't help it. I feel lost and alone, and like I betrayed Nazume, and Kagome. I wish I could turn back time.

"Hey fluffy." Sesshomaru looks at me with a ice cold stare as if to say I will kill you were you stand. But I have to ask, "Promise that nothing will get between us like that again? I mean if you ever for some reason can not get to me, can you send a letter or something." Looking at my feet afraid of the answer I can hear a small sigh come from him.

"Brother I know you were lonely and I swear it will not happen again, besides there is this wonderful thing the humans have now called cell phones." Letting the laughter pour out of me I fall back onto the floor and close my eyes I feel so tired and drained. I feel like I let everyone I know down and hurt them. I can't help but worry where my life will go now, yet I feel like everything will be fine.

Okay short chapter I am sorry. Long time since I posted, again I am sorry. But I got something out right? Hope you all like this chapter please review and what not.


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Inuyasha**

The feeling of hope has found its way back into my body as the days have gone by, but I cannot help but think what I need to do now. I must find Kagome I need to talk with her and let her know what I know. I made a promise to her that I would tell her everything, and thus far that has not been much. Sesshomaru told me a couple days ago that I need to give her time and she will come back. But it has been so long I don't think she will. Maybe she is happier away from me. Scribbling on the paper in front of me with a sharpie I draw a twister, the perfect sign of boredom. Sighing loudly I cap the sharpie and throw it across the room. Getting up from the chair and stretching I make my way over to the window, it is almost noon and the shop that Kagome worked at should be getting off lunch break, it has become a habit for me now to look down and watch all the workers pile near it. I hope one day I will see her standing down there looking up to the window. Scanning the different faces I see no sign of her. Letting my head hit the window and rest there I breath on the glass making it fog up. The house has gotten dirty again, but I don't mind. It is kind of a reminder of what I put myself through for so long. Sesshomaru went out with Shadow a couple hours ago to get air. He told me to go with him but I said no. I don't want to be away if Kagome comes back. Rolling on the wall to have my back on it now I look around the place. It has so many things inside of it now, but I still don't know what the point for most of them are. Like all the dishes and silver ware, all you really need is one plate and no silver ware, your hands work just fine for eating. Thinking about food my stomach growls, I have not eaten yet and don't want to. Grunting I fall to the floor sitting cross legged. Looking at the carpet and the stains from Shadow I cringe, all the poop that was in here still makes me sick to think about. The thought then makes me completely sick and I stand back up looking at the floor. I can just imagine all the filth and germs and nasty things in the floor. Cringing I jump on the sofa. Leaning back and putting my feet up on the table the ceiling becomes very interesting to stare at.

"Inuyasha, sulking will not help." Sesshomaru says as he closes the door. "Time will tell what will happen why don't you go out side." He sits next to me and shoves my arm then leans back on the sofa also.

"Well I would." A long pause follows this, I have nothing interesting to say to him or a witty come back. A long sigh is all that comes out. Sesshomaru looks at me and smirks.

"Lost in thought again?" Looking to him I nod. "I am telling you brother you need to let go of the past. What will happen will happen out of what is ment to be." Making a face at him I look the other way. "Hey, I am serious Inuyasha there is no sense in wallowing in thought when thought does not need to be given." Feeling kind of upset at this I sit forward.

"And what do you know needs to be given thought, do you ever think about anything or are you stuck in playing god." The words roll out of my mouth and a bitter taste replaces them, I feel instantly bad about saying them but I am not taking them back now.

"Playing god is different from knowing what I am saying to a ungrateful pup who doesn't mind his manners in talking to his elders." He leans forward to get level with me. "Besides, if I was playing god I believe there would be no body left alive on this rock." A grin creeps over his face. I can tell he is imaging killing everyone in his path.

"Sess, I know I made a lot of mistakes, but how can I fix them if I don't think." The thought just fades of as soon as I say it. He looks away from me for a bit.

"Inuyasha, there are two things I need to say. One you know how to correct the things in life that trouble you. If you don't know how then they are not ready to be fixed yet. And two." He pauses and gives me a look of evil. "If you insist to call me, 'Sess or Sesshy or Fluffy' I will have to kill you." The tone in his voice is serious but hearing him say the names I have come up with are down right hilarious.

"Whatever you say Mr. Fluffy." A grin spreads across my face as a frown grows on his. "Hey I'm kidding. Geez don't get so uptight, just a nick name." as a response all he does is give a grunt and leans back into the sofa. "But I don't know how to fix any of the mistakes I have made." I feel kind of depressed again.

"That is because you are thinking to much. Or that you are retarded." He looks over to me again. "But it does not matter if you do not know yet, I told you give it time." thinking for a second my mind begins to race of all the things I want to do. Standing up and stretching I look down at Sesshomaru.

"I am leaving to find her." I smile big knowing this is the answer and what he told me confirms it. I cannot wait any longer.

"Do what you must Inuyasha. I wish you luck." As he says this he takes over the entire sofa and sprawls out. Smiling I go to the door followed closely by Shadow. I grab a dog treat and scratch his head and toss the treat on the other side of the room. The out the door before Shadow has time to realize I am going outside with out him.

After walking around for what seems hours I catch her scent. Taking off in the direction of it it leads me to a hold shrine house. It looks abandoned and empty. Landing and coming to a stop on the front porch I go to the window and look inside. Yup definitely abandoned. The windows are full of dust and cobwebs, on the inside all of the furniture is covered with plastic and dust. The floor is old wood which is also dust covered, save for the foot prints going from the door across the house. I am assuming she has came and left many times. Opening the door slowly I slip inside and shut the door. The smell of the place makes me wrinkle my nose up. I follow the foot marks left behind in the dust. I pass through the living room which is filled with little things on the shelf like pictures and vases, there is a piano in there to among all the plastic covered furniture. The pictures all on the wall are broken and the glass is scattered on the floor. Going further into the house the next room is to my left it is the kitchen. The smell from there is enough to make me want to set fire to the place. There looks to be a old pot on the store still filled with what was being made last. The table has plates set out on it plus a few broken on the floor. The cabinets are all open and some are cracked. The things inside range from old cans of food, boxes of cereal, plates, and cups. There is a door to my right also it is closed, so grabbing the handle I open it up and look in, it looks like this is the basement, but there is not foot prints leading down so this is not where I want to go. Making my way in further there is no more rooms, the footprints lead up the stairs, so trying not to make much noise I go up the steps. The wallpaper is pealing here and the stairs have a carpet on them, which a dust cloud pops up with every step I take. Taking the turn in the stairs I now see the top of them happy that I will be away from all this dust I jump up the last few steps. All the doors up here are closed, but the prints lead to the back room on the right. Going down the hall a lot of smells are stuck lingering here. I can smell Kagome but also so much other smells, I can't pick any of them out. Reaching the door I push it open. The room is clean and actually looks lived in. This is definitely where Kagome has been staying, out of the rest of the house this room looks like nothing has happened, like time has not been able to age it. But I know that it is because she has cleaned it very well, the smell of cleaners are still lingering around the room, looking around I finally notice she is in here, fast asleep on the bed. Taking a deep breath I go over and sit next to her, she looks so peaceful. I lightly shake her shoulder. It doesn't seem to faze her at all. After a couple of minutes or shaking her and calling her name she is still fast asleep but now snoring. Rubbing my eyes a bit I think this will not work. Laying down in the bed with her I put my arms under my head. I wonder when she will wake up. Looking around the room she has a lot of things in here it looks like all child stuff though. There are pictures in here and toys and stuffed animals. There is even letters up on the wall spelling her name out. I wonder if this was her old home. I don't know why all this stuff would be left behind though. As I wonder about all of this Kagome rolls over and hugs my chest. Looking down at her I can feel my cheeks redden. It is nice to have her next to me.

OOOOkay sorry for taking so long to update, I know I told a lot of you guys I will be updating the next day, but I got side tracked with fixing things in the house and what not. So hope you guys like this chapter, I need idea of what you guys want to see!


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Time seems to have a funny way of moving when you want the moments you care about to stay with you. But as always it skips ahead faster then you would wish it to when the moment feels right and you feel safe where you are. The little clock on the side table read 9:58pm, Kagome was still sleeping, it had been almost 15 hours since I got here and since then I was left to wonder why she hasn't moved much. Thoughts began to wonder eventually and it lead to me wondering around the room. Sitting at her desk I open one of the draws to the left and looking inside it is full of pictures. Picking them up and looking closer it is of her I think as a child. With what I am guessing her family, the first one is with them sitting at a park on a bench. All smiling. The next one is with just her mother and a little boy I am guessing is her brother. Only the two children are smiling. Going through the pictures the smiles are starting to look strained and fake. The pictures to the end only show Kagome and her mother. No smiles at all. The next is a picture in front of this house, Kagome looking pained and broken, while no one is in the picture she is looking off to the side like she was looking at something. The following pictures all show Kagome next to someone I do not know and were not pictured before. The look in her eyes were sad and lifeless. As I go through the pictures a frown forms across my lips, the last couple ones where of Kagome, but she was not home, or with this new person. It was her sitting in a white room. There were two beds with one pillow and a small thin blanket draped over each bed. One window on the wall with no curtain. Nothing in the room except a shower and toilet could be seen in the room with a small entry way. Looking at these pictures I think of all the places it could be taken in. Pulling the next picture it shows Kagome and another girl who looked a lot older. The sign they were standing next to said, 'Shinewood Rehab for the Mentally Ill and Drug Abuse' as a the frown becomes deeper I look at the picture closer the Kagome I know now and this one looks completely different, like this one was just and empty shell. Pulling the last picture up my eyes widen, it is a close up picture of a window that is very dirty and the image itself is unclear, in the window someone is standing there looking down at the unseen picture below, it was me. Putting the stack of pictures down on the desk I sigh and run my fingers threw my hair. There are now so many unanswered questions. Pulling open the drawer under this one I look at the papers and rulers and pencils. There is a little white book white pale pink butterfly's on it. Pulling it out and opening it up it is her diary. Blushing at the thought of what I hold in my hands I flip to the first page. Pausing I look over to Kagome who is still fast asleep. Looking down to the book again I read,

"Well Mr. diary this is my first entry. It is almost 6pm and it is snowing outside, great way to improve my mood right… weeeeeeeellll I guess I cant complain. Nature has captured my mood wonderfully. So you wouldn't know this cuz you are my new diary buuut there is a old building that looks over the place I work, and everyday there is a man that comes to the window and just stares. Good he is amazing, he looks so lost in the world, but he looks so hot. I want to meet him but what would I say what if he doesn't want to talk to me. God mr diary you need to talk to me. This house is so silent. OOOO my fav song. Hey I just met you and this is crazy but hers my number…. I wish I could do something like that to him. But I don't have a phone. Anywho I want to get out of here, this house has become so painful to stay here, I don't want to be here any more." Turning the page I look over to her again she seems to peaceful.

"I say him again today! and I think he looked at me. But I don't know for sure. I think I need to talk to him, I meet the guy who owns the building today, he said no one lives there and he just makes sure nothing is leakn he told me it used to be a charity place, to give food to the poor and such. And that he didn't have enough money to keep up the work and bills so he just pays the tax on it and leaves it at that, he said it is 500$ a month, that's not bad, I mean I make that in one weeks work. Thinking about it. Mr diary do you think if I bought the place and then told him he would let me stay with him. I don't want to be alone anymore. I keep looking at the pictures and it hurts" the rest of the page just has drawing of stick people on it, sighing I flip the page.

" I want to marry him I think I know what to do, ima go and knock on his door and see what happens the worst he can say is no. I hope he likes me. I just cant tell him anything about me mr diary cuz if he finds out what I did ooooo he will never like mr diary you don't even know! Okay ill tell you if you promise not to tell anyone, whats that? You sure you can keep a secret? Weeeellll if you insist….. as you can guess this is my house, but not really but my parents died in a crash along with my little brother, nnnnnn I did some bad things drugs and what not. That's not my point mr diary I need him he can fix me! He looks so cold and uncaring to the world I think that is what I need. I don't want to tell you anymore mr diary it hurts. I am scared. Well if I don't talk to you anymore it means he let me live with him and I am now forever happy." This kind of is creepy, I mean this girl was watching me hoping I could save her. Looking over at her sleeping figure the frown grows deeper on my face. Taking a deep breath I turn the page and look down to see many angry scribbles on it.

"he hates me mr diary I tried to be nice and not show him how I felt but I cant mr diary do you know how much he hates me. A LOT OF HATE MR DIARY A LOT OF HATE and to top it off I don't want to go back now when ever I look at him my tummy just feels like its pulling itself. MR DIARY Y DID YOU LET ME GO" every feeling of guilt that I felt before shoved its way to the surface and I feel as if I am going to win the jackass of the year award. Sighing again I turn the page.

"Mr diary this is not good, I started again the drugs again the rehab faild n I dunno wat to doooo. Mr diary you need to help me. I don't know if I can keep this up all I have been doing is sleepn and messn up my life with the drugs IM NOT EVEN WORKING plus I left Inuyasha that's his name just so ya know, and he is wonderful he is everything I wanted him to be n more but I cant be fake anymore he wont like me if he knew who I was I hada leave. Mr diary I dunno what to do." Closing the little book and putting it back into the draw. I feel pained I didn't know she had been planning on the contact with me for a while. I figured it was just a idea she thought of that day and decided on acting on it. Thinking back though I can see it, she bought the place, fixed it up decorated it, then left. Standing up I go to the closet and open it up. It is filled with clothing, shutting it again I cringe and walk out of the room and to the rooms next to it. Walking into the one across the hall there is a king bed placed on a silver bedframe. The mattress is torn and falling apart, the walls have holes in them around the bed and the door has scratch marks, something horrible happened in here. My stomach feels sick looking around. Opening up the closet there is a mess of clothes on the ground inside and the pole that once help up the hangers was broken and half way on the ground. There was a couple of holes hit into the door from the inside that didn't make it all the way threw the hollow door. Closing the door slowly I make my way out of the room and into the next. It is a boys room the walls are faded but blue with trains all over the walls, toys lay scattered about the room and the bed has rocket ships on it, this room to has a nice layer of dust that covers it. Just as the other room did this room has holes in the walls. Not wanting to see more of the child's room I close the door and go to the next one, this on is a bathroom, it is clean but scattered with needles, a belt lays across the sink and there is a smell I am not familiar with lingering in he air. Looking at the place I kind of lose myself in though because I did not hear her get up, I did not hear her walk next to me, and I did not hear her start crying. It wasn't until she shoved me that I looked over and realized she was awake. Looking down at her I feel sadness anger and guilt all start to build up.

"Get out of here Inuyasha!" he hits me and I guess I deserve it, " Get out of my house now!" she pushes me but with little affect I am not moving, nor am I leaving her here alone. Taking a deep breath in I grab her and pull her close in to a hug. She freezes in my arms.

"You are coming home Kagome." All I get as a response is her pushing her face into my chest and her soft crying fills up the hallway.

Kay so the suggestion for this was wonderful it got rid of the writers block and kind of interesting to write, please keep the reviews and or messages coming, it helps a lot! Thanks for reading thus far!


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Watching Kagome dart around the room grabbing everything she can is actually pretty funny. She found a duffle bag and is filling it with all of the stuff she thinks is needed I think she has lost it completely. As she grabs yet another note book I can't help but roll my eyes, she has crammed clothes, notebooks, sharpies of all colors, her diary, pictures, shoes, she even has a big pack of erasers in there, almost none of these items I call 'needed' but she has thrown things in disapproval when I had said this before. She has done a complete 360 with her mood, instead of upset and whatever, she is all smiles again, it kind of hurts to tell the truth. I was hoping she would be herself, from what her diary said she was never herself. Sighing I watch as she starts to fling CD's across the room, rolling my eyes as she squeaks at one she must like and putting it in the old Sony player which looks like it will fall apart any second. Kind of curious myself at what got her so excited I look at the player, nothing happens. A frustrated growl escapes her and raising her hand up she starts hitting the player.

"Uhh Kagome, I think you are going to break the thing if you keep that up." Watching her lazily she snaps her head to me.

"Shut up, I know how to work my things, you probably wouldn't even know how to turn it on." Making her face into a pout she looks down at it again, "I think I did break it though."

"See yell at me will ya. And I was right!" I duck from the CD case headed my way thanks to Kagome who looks almost livid at me.

"Well if you didn't break it…" she losses the rest of the sentence as music starts coming from it. "EEEEEEEEE! It works!" she bounces on her knees and clamps her hands together. I swear this girl is insane, not just insane but a step further, if I knew what that was it would be her. Hands down.

"Ya know, aren't you supposta be packing so you can come home with me." Expecting a nothing object being thrown I prepare.

"You made it clear, you turned your back and now you've gone astray, nothing left to say, what's standing in your way? You had your chance to never walk alone. But you gave it all away, when I needed you to stay, just open up your arms I need you here, I can't do this on my own I got nothing left to show open up your arms I need you here." She pauses and looks at the ground. When people say 'I'm speechless' at lest they can say that much. I know she was singing with the song, but it still kind of hurt down to my core. Not only that, her voice. Shaking my head to clear the thoughts I stand up.

"Hey, can you hurry up please I got someone I want you to meet." The sadness in her eyes vanishes and a sparkle replaces it.

"Who is it?" she reminds me of a little kid who was just told of an unknown secrete and will explode if you don't inform them soon.

"I dunno….. I mean if I tell you, you might not come. Hmmmm. Well guess you gotta find out yourself, grab your stuff and lets go." As if in fast forward she darts around shoves things into the bag and is next to me pulling my arm.

"Home. Now. MUST KNOW!" pulling me to the door I chuckle at how excited she is getting. I wonder how fluffy will take this. Better yet, I wonder how she will take it.

"Hey Kags, member the promise I made you?" she looks over her shoulder to me and nods slowly.

"Yes, wait no, what promise.." slapping a hand to my forhead I groan. All this worry and she doesn't even know what I am talking about.

"I promised to tell you all about me that I know." She jumps a little bit.

"OOO THAT ONE! Yes I remember why?" dragging me down the stairs and threw the hall I hold my breath as we pass the kitchen. "Hey are you listening to me?" getting to the living room I take in a slow breath.

"Yeah, but your kitchen smells like someone took a massive poo. Whatd you do to it?" pushing the front door open and stepping out with her I breath in the night air, so welcome after being in there, it was worse then my place was. "And cuz, I wanna talk to you more later. I got a lot of things to fill you in on."

"Okay. Umm do you promise to listen to me too." She looks up at me sadness filling her eyes again. A pull in my chest wants to hug her again and make her smile.

"Yea I promise." Giving her a smile before a hand is shoved at me.

"Do you pinky promise." Her face is unreadable.

"Sure, I pinky promise." Confused at what a pinky promise is I guess it is better to say yes then no. She sticks her hand in my face wagging a finger at me.

"Okay well prove it then." Pushing her hand away I look down at her.

"How do I prove it." She pouts and shoves her hand back in my face, "Can you stop that." Pushing her hand out of my face again. Wrong thing to do apparently.

"AHHHHHHHH! You don't pinky you ass!" with this she drops her bag and is now standing there glaring at me.

"Kagome! I don't know what a pinky promise is. AHH work with me here at lest tell me." Feeling my face get hot, she starts laughing. "WHAT!"

"Are. You. Serious. HEEEEEEEY put your pinky out." The shrillness of her voice makes me cringe. But I do as she says. As soon as I do she takes a firm hold of it with hers and shakes it like theres no tomorrow.

"Hey hey hey, you said a promise, you said nothing about breaking my finger!" pulling my hand away she starts laughing harder.

"Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrry." With a jab in my chest she takes off running. "You are IT!" I have no idea what she is on about anymore and I just wanna get home and flop out on the floor, but something tells me this is going to be a long long walk home.

**about an hour later**

Pushing the door open Shadow jumps on my leg pushing him aside as I come threw the door Sesshomaru gives me a look of boredom then looks back down to the magazine he has in his hands.

"Bout time you came back." He gives a small wave as he says this. Letting Kagome in before I shut the door I try to keep the dog from making a freedom run by holding him back with my leg. Sighing I turn to go sit on the sofa and bump into Kagome.

"Hey uhh Kagome we are home, how about you go and relax now." She is staring at Sesshomaru and is like a statue, leaning forward I wave a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Kagome."

"AAAAAAA WHO THE HELL IS THAT!" My hands shoot to my ears to shield them from the noise she lets lose from her face.

"That is fluffy he is my brother.. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" rubbing my ear I push her closer to the sofa.

"No he looks scary!" a grin tugs my lips.

"That is because he is scary he likes to kill people and suck there blood from them." A punch to the face is my answer. "HEY!"

"Little brother, do not scare the girl. She looks half dead as it is, it should be I who is scared of the likes of her, not the other way around." Sesshomaru has a way with words. Like for instance, instead of calming the situation, he makes it worse.

"Well excussssseeeee me! I don't have elf ears and tattoos on my face. You are weird creepy and scary all in one BIG ball rolled into one." I feel a fight coming.

"Do you know to whom you are talking to wench, I am taking you do not otherwise this tone would never be heard of. Let me make this crystal clear for you. I am not an elf, call me that again you will be praying to the gods that you never let that leave your lips, also these are not tattoos, they are a birth right, one you will never know of because you are of no importance in this world. You have no idea the phrase a big mixture of whore, wench, and filth all rolled into one big ball. If you have any other testament in which you feel the need to voice, by all means, don't. However you can write them down and throw them into the fire pit, for it shows how little your voice is going to be heard and or listened to." Flipping the page he keeps on reading like nothing happened, Kagome however, if steam could come out her ears they would be.

"You are a horrible HORRIBLE person! If I had a penny for each time you thought of yourself as god I would be rich! You seem like the scum of the earth. Who are you to think you have the right to say that to me. And for your information. I am not a whore, a wench, or the filth of the earth." Throwing her bag at him it lands smack on his head. My eyes widen as I watch this. "You better learn to bite you tongue mr birth right, or I will give you a birth right straight in the ground." I wish I was a dog again. I also wish I was on the other side of the planet right now. Sesshomaru drops his magazine and tears open the bag. Her diary lands on his lap and he picks it up and opens it.

"Lets see here." He clears his throat. "Mr diary, I need your help I don't know what to do anymore. I miss Inuyasha. That hot sexy piece of man." He stops and raises an eyebrow at him. Kagome has gone completely red in the face.

"GIVE IT BACK!" for a rare moment in time, Sesshomaru grinned. I can feel my jaw drop open as I watch the two of them run around the room. Screams and bangs echo threw the house.

**The next morning**

Sun light fills the room and the birds outside are singing. Rolling over I don't want to get up. After everything calmed down and we got to talk. I finally was able to tell Kagome everything. She seemed scared kind of. I don't want to face her yet today. What if she hates me. Frowning under the blanket I try to go back to sleep again. If I can push the day to start later I will. Kagome and Sesshomaru hate each other, yet get along just fine. They seem to match in temper and rage. Unfortunately I don't think my ears can take anymore of there 'friendship' for at lest another 12 hours. Groaning I put the pillow over my head as it starts again.

Okay. Big thanks to Twistedheart27. They have been reading and reviewing since the start of this story. I suggest you guys go read their stories also. I really enjoyed them. And for those of you who want to know the song it is called 'RED – Give It All Away' and hope you all like this chapter.


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Inuyasha**

The last week has been hell, not only can I not talk to Kagome with out Sesshomaru being a complete fuck tard in the background but it seems Kagome would rather chase him with a bat around the house then talk. I am beginning to think this was not my best idea. Rubbing my eyes I look down at the town from the window. People down there seem to happy and content. Unlike me stuck in this hell of yelling and things flying around the room. Giving a sigh I turn and watch as the two tear threw the house, Sesshomaru got a hold of her diary and was drawing in it I guess, but Kagome I think just wanted to fight. To make matters worse, Shadow has taken it upon himself to fix the situation. Standing on the coffee table and barking is his fix for it. He thinks it is working to, every now and again when the two quiet down he starts to wag his tail and as soon as it starts up again he barks and watches them, and repeat the process. I am going to go insane. Simple as that. Laying on the sofa i close my eyes and try to tone the two of them out. Kagome said she wanted to talk with me when I brought her back, but I haven't really talked to her since that night. If she hates me I wonder who I fix it. A loud crash disturbs my thought process.

"See what you did you stupid girl." Sesshomarus voice sounds proud as if he won something.

"What do you mean 'see what you did' that was you! I am not even near you!" it is funny though that she out right makes fun of him and he lets her get away with it.

"Hey girl why don't you go over there and talk to the man you love so much."

"Meh meh meh meh so much. Why don't you shut the hell up!" Shadow has deemed this situation under control and has jumped on me now. He curls up in between my legs. I hate it when he does this. Sure it is cute and all and sure I just want to hug him, but it is so uncomfortable I can't move or roll with him there, and I feel bad for kicking him off.

"You dare mock me!" another crash lets me know that they are at it again. Along with Shadows barking.

"I dare question your sanity lord fluff master."

"Say it again girl I dare you." I feel proud I told Kagome this name because she takes every chance she can get to say it, and it drives him nuts.

"As you wish lord. Fluff. Master." Opening one eye just in time to see her bowing a little at him to prove a point I grin and put the throw pillow over my head. This is enough to make a sane man want to jump out of the window.

"You dare disrespect me again! I will show you what it is to be great and powerful. I will tear the head from your tiny feeble neck!"

"Yeah sure that will show me so much, you know cuz the brain can see for like ONE WHOLE MINUTE after being taken off the body. But tell me how it would teach me." Another bang and Sesshomaru lets out a sigh.

"You are not funny, nor smart. And you don't grasp the idea of come backs." Another thing breaks on the wall. "And lady like has no meaning to you. You are destroying the house."

"And you have room to talk how? Have you seen your half of the mess?" my very resent habit is to smoke a cigarette they taste horrible but they make me light headed and helps the headaches. Rolling over and grabbing one I flick the lighter making it jump to life with fire. Breathing in the smoke relaxes my body. Looking at the two fighting my head hurts. Listening to the two of them go at it is kind of sad. Like a fat kid trying to roll uphill. It is going no where fast. I roll off of the sofa and go to the door with Shadow at my heels. I think he is tired of it all to. Opening the door and going downstairs away from the noise is a relief on my ears. As I walk threw the little shops and down the road I watch Shadow sniff everything he can. Smiling I think of when I used to be alone.

**Flashback**

Sitting in the old tree watching the fish swim upstream I let my body relax and listen to the birds and the water. Things have been busy lately. Sesshomaru has been away for a while. He had said is was important business but I think he needed a break from it all to. The wind blows the hair from my face and I open my eyes and watch the clouds drift by. It couldn't be a nicer day if I wished it. The sun was shining but its not to hot. The birds are singing making me tune out the hectic days before of the villagers yelling and fights that were breaking out. Nazume had left on a call of demons tearing threw a village and killing the children. I finally have free time away from the commotion. Sighing at the peacefulness I hear singing and look to see a young boy playing in the water. He is chasing the fish. Watching him I look around to see if his mother is near by, but she is not. A sudden yell and a splash, I turn to see him being swept away in the quick water. Jumping down I run next to the river until I am near him then jump in. They boy kicks and screams at me to let him go.

"Hold on kid!" dragging him out and on to the side I put him down.

"Theres the demon!" looking to the side I see a couple of the villagers running towards me.

"What have you done to the boy!" a woman grabs him and yells at me.

"Feh, I did nothing but save him from death." Turning my head I feel the anger spike inside, the good for nothing people all on there high horse's.

"Tis a lie! He was going to kill him and eat him he was!" a older man says from besides the woman. "Have ye not seen what he has done to lady Nazume! He trapped her in his spell and is going to suck her life away!"

"Listen old man, I don't know what your spouting out about. I did nothing of the sort." All I ever do is help these people.

"Look into his eyes, pure evil! And his ears! They belong to a dog. He is a demon! He will doom us all!" I roll my eyes at this.

"Did ya figure out I was a demon all on your own old man?" taking a step closer to him he takes one back.

"Be gone demon! You are not welcome here!" the little boy screams out.

"Hey kid I just saved your ass! Is that anyway to say thanks?" the woman pulls the boy closer to her. And the old man throws a rock, I catch it and drop it to the ground.

"You wonder why ye mother died do ya, tis because she was ashamed of you! Ashamed of what was produced by her unlawful courtship to a demon! She died to leave you because she was sick of you and your evil ways!"

**end flashback**

pushing my hands deep in my pockets I feel the pain stir inside of me. No matter how hard I try, everything I do people fear. First I try to get Kagome back and keep my promise. I even tell her I have fallen in love with her in the short time. And what happens? She can't even look at me now. Maybe it should be my turn to just up and leave. Looking up I find myself in front of her old home again. Staring at the large house sitting on the hill with the shrine. I look at the old tree. Maybe I was ment to relieve everything. That I was not ment to be happy and that I should really be alone. 'mother is it true that you could not bare to look at me your son?' thinking this hurts more then anything anyone could do to me. And I slowly climb the stairs to the shrine.

Waaah, ^^; short chapter but wanted to get one out. I am going to try to write another one tomorrow, but I gotta paint the kitchen and rooms. So I don't know what time I will have. But I will try. Again thanks to twistedheart27 (did I get that right?) reviews do mean a lot, normally I get the pms saying you need to do this to make the story better. Meh I like hearing people like my story, not wanting to change it. Well im done for the night bed time. woooo soft bed here I come! Happy reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Sitting in the room I had found Kagome in I open up the draws to the desk and dump the contents on the floor. Pictures let unseen, papers with scribbles on them, tiny books with poems, and other things I have not seen before spilt from the drawers. Pushing myself from the chair to the floor I put the last drawer next to me and grab a little box. It is white and pink and has a picture of a lady dancing on it. Opening it makes a song start. I can't help but open and close the tiny box a few times before looking inside. The inside is lined with red felt and sitting in it is a key, picking it up and looking it over it has small letters engraved into it 'JL' putting the key in the empty drawer next to me I toss the box behind me. The next thing that catches my attention is a colorful book like the one I picked up earlier that was her diary. Opening it up and looking at the pages all of them are full. I begin to read.

'Sept. 16

Hello again, it's me Kagome. I guess it is what I get for writing those dreaded things in my other diary but, I hide it away. So now I have you! Just wanted to write a bit, been sad lately. My mother is drunk again and I dunno what to do anymore. She was yelling at me earlier for letting sota and father die. But I don't know why she keeps blaming me, did I really hurt them. I wasn't even home when they got hurt. Mother has been sleeping in the living room, and says not to go into the rooms. I don't want to though I am scared what I will find.

Sept.20

Me again. Mother is away at the store for food and booze again. So I am taking this time to write. I went into the rooms mother told me not to. It was horrible. The walls were torn and full of holes. And mother and fathers bed was torn. It smells so strong in there like pine sol or something. I don't know what happened to them but I do know they were murdered from the reports I saw in the paper, I think mother blames me because they were supposted to come home then pick me up from my soccer practice. But I wasn't there I left early because the girls were annoying me. So the coach I knew called home and that father never left to get me. I guess mother thinks if they had left to get me they wouldn't have been home for the people that came inside. How rude of her to blame me.

'Sept. 21

So I asked mother about it, she got mad. She hit me and sent me to my room. I think that mother is losing her mind. She has been spending more and more time in the basement, and she has even not been going to work. I am worried.

October 30

I am so mad! I tried to talk to mom today she hasn't been up from the basement in over a week! And she even has the door locked. But she wont answer me when I call at her.

Nov.3

Today was great! Mom actually took me a couple places. She insisted we got pictures together almost every place we stopped at. Was annoying, but at lest she seems happier. I am glad.

Nov. 15

I know last time I wrote in here I said I was glad, but I am not anymore! The days after my little entry were wonderful, filled with visiting places and mother actually talking to me. But the past 3 days she has locked herself back into the basement. I wish she would let go of whatever is down there so we can be a family again. I think she still hates me.

Nov. 22

So it has been along time now since I heard my mother do anything down there. And I can't open the door. I found a way to forget about everything but I know it is wrong. There was this man near my school he was selling it, he called it 'hairowin' I think. But I bought some and did as he told me to. And let me tell you it works! While that stuff is in me I don't think about anything! But I still am worried cuz normally I hear mother down there.

Dec. 31

Christmas alone no present so dinner no fun! I hate my mother she ignores me I am beginning to think she isn't even down there that she ran away! I think I should call the police. Yea I am going to call them.

Jan. 1

It is all my fault I called the police and do you know what they found! They knocked in the door to the basement and went down there. Mother hung herself. She did it because she hates me I know it!

Jan. 25

I am stuck with my mothers sister now. Her name is Kikyo and shes a BITCH I hate her soooooo much! She said I have to work at her little store near the center of town. But I don't wanna.

Feb. 8

So the work at the shop is horrible its boring and I have to listen to Kikyo all the time. But there is one good thing! I was eating lunch and I saw a man up in a building I had my camra with me and I took a picture of him. I am getting it developed later this week.

Feb. 13

HE IS SO HOT AND AMAZING AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM I know I didn't even meet him yet but I knooooow I will.

March. 7

Kikyo saw me looking at the guy today. And I am not allowed to look or go near the area anymore she said that he has been up there for a long time and I am not to even look at him anymore. Oh well at lest I have my memories.

April 9

Yaaaaaaay another day another headache. I can't remember who I am anymore! I came home today and no one was here! I am scared mr diary! I don't know where mother is or sota or father. Mothers sister keeps calling my cell phone but I don't like her so I don't think I will answer.

April 10

So I was reading threw the older entrys I made and I am confused. I don't remember anything happening to sota father and mother. But it says in here that they are dead. I mean the house looks horrible and all but I don't think that they died, maybe I am going insane. But maybe it is because of all the heroin I am doing. I spelled it wrong before if you didn't notice, I think it is because I am a fucking retard. I think I need to go to the mental hospital downtown.

April 11

I am going today mr diary I cant remember anything I found the old letters and papers saying it is true but I don't know I think I need help so I am going to the hospital for my brain.

Jan. 19

Nine months of help mr diary and I cant see what they are trying to say. I acted like I did and they let me out of that hell hole! And rereading everything in here I am wondering what I am doing now with my life. I guess I will go with Kikyo, she picked me up from there and says I need to start work again.

June 16

So I am not sure if I want to do drugs anymore. I know they make me happy but that is all they do. I need to stop so I am going back to the place again. SOOOO not happy about this but I know they will help me fight my addiction and get me better.

May 24

So 4 years now mr diary. I think I am okay now. I don't feel like killing myself, or other people for that matter. And I think I am done with drugs. But I am sad all the time. I wonder if Kikyo is mad at me for this. She told me on the way home that she missed me and was worried. She even said I can work when I am ready! Such a change in heart for her. I want to go to my old home though this place is not home.

June. 21

Kikyo said yes! She finally agreed to let me live where I want as long as I go to work! She said she wants to know I am alright! I told her I found an apartment but I am finally going home!

July 3

I am tired mr diary I don't now why but I feel stressed out a lot lately. I think I need better sleep I need to clean my room because it is so messy and dusty I don't feel like cleaning the rest of the house though. I think just my room will be fine.

July 15

I am running out of room in you mr diary I think I ripped out to many pages and drew to many things on all the pages. I am going to have to get a new diary soon!

Any way I was looking at the older things again thinking how dumb I was. And I found something about a man over where I work and I looked today and I saw him! I was right he is hot! And I found the picture I took of him. i cant believe I forgot. My goal still stands I want to meet him.

Aug. 5

So I know this is weird and all but I think I figured out what I got to do. I got a lock box! And I put somethings inside them I want to forget about. But I need to write this down in case I forget where it is or the key. So the box is in the basement under the 3rd cabnet there is a loose floor board. It is lose cuz you know who tore it up! And the key is in my music box I need to hide that those I don't know where to put it yet.

Sept. 2

Mr diary I want to punch something I am sorry I threw you! I cant stop thinking about everything going on in my life. I think the gods hate me. No one else does this stuff to other people. Why was it my family they killed. Why was it my mother who killed herself. Why was it me. I don't know mr diary I just don't know.

Sept 1.

HAAAAAAA I found you mr diary almost a hole year! Buuuut I have some news to tell you… this is your last page. And I am afraid there is nothing else I can put in here. On a thought though I have desided to talk to the mystery man! Well mr diary I have a new one of you he looks a lot different. But I hope you understand thank you for listening to me. I am going to cherish the pages I kept lol! Which by now are not that many. Well yeah on ward and such!'

Taking a deep breath I rub my eyes. So many drawings of hateful things. How can such a small girl hold so much hate to the world. And all of these pages are filled with sadness. I can't imagine how much she hurts. No wonder she is worried what other people will think. I lean back and lay on the floor and stretch. I can feel myself wanting to sleep. Looking at shadow who has been sleeping on the bed I envy him so care free. Standing up I toss the book aside. A thought strikes me. I look down at the key in the drawer. Picking up the diary again I flip threw to the page of the location of the secrets. Basement blah blah blah 3rd cabinet blah blah blah floor board. Down in the basement the smell that is hanging here is horrible. Looking around the place there is a old work shop. And a couple of tables with things cluttered on them. Looking to my left there is a washer and dryer next to them are the cabinets. Counting to the third I walk over and look at the floor. Nothing looks out of place. I squat down and push on them sure enough there are some loose ones. Looking at them there is know why my fingers will fit in there its less then a hair apart. Looking at my hands I really don't want to stick my nails in there. Sighing I come to the idea there is no other way. Pulling the wood up was a lot easier then I thought it would. There is a large box sighing I grab it and go back upstairs to Kagomes room.

After 20 minutes of staring at this box I just can't bring myself to open it. I place the key on top of the box and call Shadow who jumps off the bed and stretches.

"Time to go home." I mumble to him and make my way out of the house.

Okay. So. I guess I wanted to go in more detail with Kagome. Meh hope you all like it!


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Arriving home I saw Sesshomaru sitting at the table with a cup of tea, turning his gaze to me he a scowl spread over his face.

"Do you know dear Inuyasha, that woman is insane?" Looking at my feet I don't know how to reply, yes actually she might be on the boarder of insanity and yes she had a lot happen to her and yes I still lov… like her, correcting myself mentally I slap my hand against my forehead. I did admit to her I loved her, but how can I still say this after I found out all she has been keeping from me, the stories she told me were all a lie, she even told me once that her parents were divorced and living in the states. Looking back to Sesshomaru I take a deep breath.

"Brother, I have to tell you. Wait where is Kagome?" looking around the room it kind of hits me she isn't here yelling at him.

"She went to bed a while ago, something about a headache and not wanting to see my face. Oh and another thing she said that you're an ass. For what reason I do not know." Rolling my eyes at the first half of it all I pull a chair out from the table and sit down across from him.

"Sesshy I need to leave for a bit. I.. I found something and I don't know how to put them together." He raised and eyebrow at me as if asking to go on. "I told you that I found Kagome at an old house right, well I went back and I feel bad for doing it, but I snooped around, I found out a lot of things. And well none of them are good." Running a hand threw my hair he clears his throat.

"A couple of things, Sesshy? Really? How many times will I tell you not to call me that. And I told you long ago not to snoop around unless you are willing to take the burdens you find and face them head on." Feeling my face heat up in anger I look at him.

"Yes but I wasn't expecting what I found, something more mild maybe, but GAH you don't understand!" banging my head down to the table I hear a noise in the room over turning to look threw the door I can make out nothing. Sighing I lift my head of the table and rub my head where a red mark is slowly making its way across.

"I am not understanding because some mutt wont tell me." Looking back over to him I frown.

"Sesshomaru, we been threw a lot. And you helped me over all this time." Sighing again I go on, " I found things out about Kagome, things that are actually the truth." Feeling anger and sadness turn over inside of me I can feel my eyes water up but hold back the tears, "She has been lying to me this hole time. I.. I just wish that for once in my life someone who I actually care about would be honest." Resting my chin on the table I can feel the lump in my throat getting bigger.

"Some truths are not wanted to be shared, you know this as well as I. Remember Nazume? Kikyo? Even your own mother! Inuyasha if life were as easy to let people tell you their darkest secrets it wouldn't be life. Sometimes people need to learn to trust someone, unlike you who rather say nothing then pouring out lies. However, I am sure all the reasons in the world cant make you see this. But to the girl, the reasons are good enough for her." Scrunching my nose up I know my brother is right, but I don't want to think about all those people who hurt me.

"But don't they understand that it hurts when the truth is actually told, and plus, half the things I was told cant be taken back 'Hey I know I told you this, and I promised it was the truth, buuuut I lied and here is the actual truth' how is that supposed to work?!" Sesshomaru lets out a sigh and rubs his chin for a moment.

"I told you this when you found out that Kikyo actually didn't like you, she was getting close to you to kill you because head on she was no match, people lie for their own self, the truth may never surface, but sometimes it doesn't need to. In that case it needed to, but say the thing Kagome lied to you about, maybe it makes it easier on her to just not speak of it." Wincing at the memory of Kikyo I look down.

"But it hurts. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I want someone who accepts me for me, and tells me all the things they need to say but cant." Not wanting to look up I don't but I can smell something salty coming from the bedrooms, pushing that thought out of my head I wait for Sesshomaru to go on.

"Inuyasha, I know you have gone threw a lot, I wont deny it. You have taken a lot of crap from a lot of people. To be honest, this is why I stay to myself, I would rather stick with you, my family, then trust people. Because unlike you people lie, fight, steal, cheat, and whatever it is the human kind sees fit." Looking up to him a pained expression has replaced his normal scowl it makes a chill run down my spine. "That is why I followed you for so long, that is why I wanted until the day you were able to be freed of the curse, that is why I never gave up. Inuyasha, I missed you, you have been the only one I could talk to over all these years, I may have not shown it but I care about you a lot and hope you are always well." My mouth hangs open at this, Sesshomaru actually said something nice, something that ment he cared. Shaking my head to clear the thoughts again I look at him with a smile.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say your gay." The expression had now been lost under the anger that grew inside of him. "I am joking!" Holding my hands up in defense I chuckle. "All jokes aside though, I am glad you kept at it."

"I don't know why I even told you, I might have to kill you now." He leans back in his chair and sips his tea.

"Aww come on, I just ment thanks. No need to want to rip my head off, I know that is what you are thinking about you jerk." As he puts the cup down a grin spreads across his lips.

"You know me to well I guess. Now what about this leaving thing, what are you planning?" Smiling that he understands I look back into the bedrooms.

"Well I was just thinking since Kagome hasn't even talked to me for a while or even let me know she knows I exists, I was planning on going to the grave." Slowly looking back to Sesshomaru I continue, "And I was wondering if you would keep an eye on her and Shadow. I wont be long, a day or two at most."

"You know you are a pain sometimes, still going to visit that grave after all this time, you know it isn't even there anymore, they tore that old burial ground down when they started to build the reserves. But if that is what you wish to do I will not stop you, and you have my word I will take care of things, provided your not longer then a couple of days, after which I will leave here and find you." He looks at me dead in the face saying this I know he is being honest with it all.

"Deal!" I can feel my face light up and I jump over the table and give him a hug.

"The 'deal' is off if you don't let go right now." Jumping a couple steps back I smile at him and head to the door.

~Kagomes Pov~

Laying in bed I think of Sesshomaru, he is such a pain. Looking at the clock it is already 1am. Inuyasha left with Shadow a while ago, I don't recall him leaving and I frown, I haven't been nice to him. He came all the way out to find me and bring me home after he told me he loved me. God I am stupid. Slapping my face I hear the door open underneath me, rolling out of bed I crawl to the door frame and peek out. Inuyasha comes in and Shadow bolts past him to the bone on the floor and starts at it right away wagging his tail. He looks so sad. I wonder what happened to him. He starts talking to Sesshomaru listening carefully I look him over, I never realized how damn built he is, I mean I have seen him butt naked and still never really noticed the muscles that guy has. Hearing my name I pull my head out of view, I don't want him to know I am awake. Biting my lip I hold back a sigh. I want to tell him how much I like him, but what if it pushes him away. I turn my head and move the hair away from my ear so I can hear what the two of them are saying.

After a couple of minutes tears starts rolling down my face, I didn't know he cared so much. I keep listening in. Rage starts to build up as I hear he went threw my things, the bastard! I quickly feel the rage disappear as Inuyasha tells his brother how much he is hurt over this all, he thinks I am a liar. Frowning I hold back the sobs and press the palms of my hands to my eyes.

I hear the door open the close but I didn't hear any other part of the conversation. Putting my hands down I wipe them on my pants.

"Come out now little mouse." Sesshomarus voice makes me jump a little bit. Taking a deep breath I peek out of the room.

"How did you know I was here?" his expression is cold.

"I heard you get out of bed and saw you looking out. I knew Inuyasha wouldn't talk if he knew you were awake so I said you were sleeping." His eyes never leave mine as I crawl out of the room and sit in front of the door way.

"I don't know wha…"

"Don't even talk woman." His eyes narrow. "I tried to calm him, but when he is back he will not be in the best mood. You have done quite a number on him." feeling the tears wanting to push out again I bite my lip.

"I didn't mean to hurt him." my voice is low and cracks a bit.

"Of course not, no one means to kill someone either, they just ment to knock them out." The sarcasm hung heavily in his voice. "You may not have ment it, but you did. He has been threw so much, all because of filthy disgusting humans like you, and yet he tries again, and what happens, you hurt him. Typical of a human wench like you." The tears break free as I look down at my socks.

"How can I fix this?" is all I can chock out.

"I think I will show you how tomorrow. For now it is late, and I would prefer not to look at you until morning. So sleep well sunshine." Wanting to know more then anything how I can make it up to Inuyasha I want to open my mouth and tell him to start now, but I don't feel like arguing so I crawl back into the room and on to my bed.

Okay, I can't brain at the moment more to come, I will start the next chapter after lunch! Big thanks to CityOfFallenAshes for the review!


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own Inuyasha**

It has been so long since I took this trip, jumping from tree branch to tree branch I smile as the wind rushes against me. Almost there now. Landing on a large stone I flop down on it to take a break. Looking up to the sky I sigh.

"Almost mom, almost." I can feel my chest tighten as I think of the last time I saw her, it was a cold night and she told me to stay hidden no matter what. The village people had grown mad at us. They told my mom that either she kill me or they kill us both. Sadness gripping at my insides I shake my head. No I am not going to get depressed, it has been so long since I went to the grave site I want to visit with a smile. Standing slowly I stand up again and take to the trees going as fast as I can, just a few more miles and I will be there. A couple of minutes blur by and I land with a small thud next to a large hill. A weak smile crosses my face.

"Hey mom."

~flashback~

Running in the woods my mother has her hand gripping my arm tightly. People are chasing us with swords and things. She pulls me into a cave, looking down at me a bittersweet expression over her face.

"Dear Inuyasha I love you more then words can tell, please stay hidden and stay safe, once I leave run north and keep running, don't look back and don't worry about me." A single tear rolls down her cheek as she pulls me into a hug. Letting go she turns and runs back to the people. Not wanting to leave her I start to follow her, just as she comes into my sights an arrow firmly pushes its way threw her chest and she falls to the ground. The older villagers catch up to her and gather round.

"Where is he!?" they all look livid and stare down at her with cold eyes, my feet wont move, mothers blood fills my senses. Tears begin to pool in my eyes.

"He is gone and you will never find my son, be glad you have gotten my." A few moments after she speaks she falls over, dead. Wiping the tears from my eyes with my sleeve I take a slow step forward.

"Find the half breed and kill him!" fear runs threw my body and I run on my heels and run as fast as I can.

~end flashback~

"Tell me what I gotta do you big lazy dog!" Sesshomaru looks more then upset at me, but I don't care I want to know how I can fix things.

"Don't bother me wench, I have more important things to worry about." He waves his hand at me like he is swatting at a fly. I scrunch my face up in anger.

"You said AND I QUOTE 'I will show you tomorrow, I am tired of looking at your face tonight' blah blah blah. AARRRRRRG READING MAGAZINES IS NOT IMPORTANT!" he looks up from the magazine looking more annoying.

"You are think headed aren't you." He lets out a sigh and gets to his feet. "You have to kill him." My eyes grow wide at this.

"ARE YOU INSANE!" he chuckles an amused grin on his face.

"With kindness, that is what you get for cutting me off." Feeling my anger spike up again I hit his arm.

"You stopped talking! YOU SAID KILL HIM!" his eyes flash with amusement.

"Now I love the idea of a human such as yourself attempting to kill him. Even if he did love you, you haven't the power to do so, and if you did he would kill you where you stand." He turns the sink on and fills a mug with water and then places it in the microwave.

"You… You… AHHHH HELP ME PLEASE!" he grins at me and then turns to the cubboard and grabs a tea bag from the box.

"You make it sound like I can help you." He waves the teabag around.

"Well you said you could." The microwave beeps and he opens it and pulls out the mug and places the bag inside the cup. Walking over to the table and sitting down he motions to the chair across from him.

"As much as I don't like you, I could never hurt family, sit." He pulls the teabag out then lets it fall back into the water with a plop. Watching him carefully I pull the char back and sit down.

"So you will help?" asking him hopefully I really want to make things up between Inuyasha and I.

"I can try. I can lead you so far in the right direction but it is up to you to make it work." Pulling the tea bag out of the water he looks up to me, smiling he flings the hot teabag and me and it hits me in the face.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I scream running to the skin I turn the cold water on and splash my face. I can hear him chuckle in the background.

"Now I forgive you for 'hitting' me." The chair creaks as he moves in it. "Now if your done overreacting please sit." Turning the water off and dabbing my face with a towel I walk back to the chair and sit down, jerk.

"Okay, you had your fun, meanie."

"Hardly, the fun has just begun."

"You're a huge asshole you know that right."

"It is my job to make humans miserable so naturally yes."

"Can you just start helping me think of ways to make it up to Inuyasha? Please?" A pause before his eyes light up and looks to me, I have a bad feeling about this.

~back with Inuyasha~

I slowly move my legs walking back, I feel like shit, I can never protect the people that need me the most. Images of my mother dance threw my head. Looking up at the sky it is such a beautiful day, it is like the gods are mocking me. Sighing I look to the forest ahead of me, it is going to be a long walk back.

~Else where~

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!" this man is going to give me a heart attack!

"They say a way to a mans heart is threw his stomach, I disagree."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Of course it does, haven't you ever heard the saying, if you cook like a master men will love you, but think about the woman who can't you see them all the time, I believe you call him hobos. Loveless." My jaw drops.

"That's NOT what I ment. I heard the saying dummy I am saying how can doing something like, like that do Inuyasha help?!"

"I didn't tell you to cook."

"I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!" feeling my face heat up and turn red I slap my hands up to my face, this man is nuts!

"Well it isn't to hard to understand, you love him is what you say. But you have lied to him, what better way to let him know, that you know he is here, and that you love him back." He seemed unfazed by the hole conversation.

"But.. but I don't even…. I don't want…." He raises and eye brow at me.

"Why are you making this all about you, I thought you wanted to make it up to him not yourself."

"I doooooooooo…. But not like that, give me another idea."

"Wench I am not your slave, if you don't like how I see it then don't ask, because that is all I am telling you."

"BUT YOU GOTTA HELP!"

"I don't have to do anything for you. I could just let things go back to the way they used to. I much rather be killing people." A grin spreads across his face.

"You need help. A LOT of help!" sticking my tongue out at him I turn and go sit on the couch, if I was going to make him happy I better find the guts to do this.

"I am not the one in this situation am I? the worst that could happen is that he has figured out how idiotic he is and hates you and the human race. Nothing to big right, wouldn't it be an honor to the first person he kills?"

"There is medicine they provide for people like you to make your NORMAL!"

"Your kind of normal? I think I will have to decline that offer, I do not what to have those problems hanging over my head."

"How did you get him to listen to you?" leaning over on the couch I rest my head on my arms and look at him over the arm rest.

"Oh nothing to big, I just restored all of the memories of his life back to him and took the curse of the dog form off of him, nothing to great, but he can be a dog again if he wishes to be. I just don't think he does."

"THAT DOESN'T HELP ME AT ALL!"

"I know it doesn't, and that is not my problem."

~Yup that is that, so my eyes hurt and my tummy is full. I think this chapter came out okay. I hope. Thanks for all the readers on the last chapter, got no reviews. BUT I did get one private message, and I must say, I don't think there is going to a sex chapter. My jaw went threw the floor on that one lol. Well happy reading and I will try to get another chapter up tomorrow. But in the mean time leave me reviews ^^


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own Inuyasha**

The pavement grew dark like the rest of the sky as I keep walking I am hours from the house. Sighing and running my hand threw my hair I can smell the rain coming. But I don't really care, it will match my mood nicely. Shoving my hands in my pockets I keep putting on foot in front of the other, people are all under shelter as the first of the rain drops start to fall. I don't really care if I get wet I just want to go home. It has been a while since I have been out like this. Roaming the streets and ignoring people that is. I tend to not like to walk around because so many people stop and stare at me. There are only a hand full of demons left, much left half demons. So to see me people get all hushed and whisper amongst themselves. I know full well what they are saying but it doesn't faze me anymore. After all the years of this, rejection, I have learned to block them out. The only thing that seems to stay is Sesshomaru, and for what reason is beyond me. He hates me. He hates the idea of half breeds, and for him to stay by my side really puzzles me. But I guess I should be thankful for at lest one person I know that wont run and hide when I come near them, well two, Kagome doesn't run, she actually thought it was cute when I was a dog and she found out about me. But that doesn't mean she likes me. Hell the woman hates me. The way she has been looking at me lately. She even seems to like talking to Sesshomaru more then me. I guess it is because he is a 'full' demon, strong, fast, and smart. Then you got me who is cut in half compared to him. As the rain gets harder no one is out anymore. Lighting dances across the sky and the thunder roars. Looking around me it is beautiful, I have always loved when it rains or pours, preferably pours. The lights flicker at the change of weather and the small buzz they make can be heard from over the rain pelting the ground. I can feel tears slowly creep from my eyes but it doesn't matter the rain will hide it all. Getting lost in thought as I walk along I near the house and look up to the window, it is lite up and I can hear faintly Kagome yelling. Looking down at my shoes I wonder if she even knows I left. Or better yet, if she cared that I have been absent the past day and a half. I push the thought out of my head and look back to the window, Sesshomaru is standing looking down at me from the other side of the glass. I cant see his face clearly to see what expression he has on but I am sure he is not thrilled to be left alone with Kagome. He turns from the window and Kagome pops her head into view. Feeling the sadness growing in the pit of my stomach I wince at the thought of being alone again. I wish I was, but I don't want to be deep down. She vanishes from view as does Sesshomaru. I want to walk up there and dry off and talk with them but for some reason my feet are rooted to the spot. I want to cry I want to run, but I want to stay and be with the people I care about. Life is funny sometimes. The door squeaks as it opens and Kagome sticks her head out.

"Hey! You gonna stand there all night? Come and have dinner, maybe take a shower, get comfy?" rolling my eyes at this I think what does she care. Its not like she is going to stay long. Turning my head from her I don't move. "Are you listening to me?!" I was, but I don't want to. Somehow I don't feel like being here. I don't feel like living anymore, all that ever happens is I get hurt in the end. Nothing ever works out. And to top it all of, even if I do fall in love again, she is only human. While I may not live as long as Sesshomaru, I will defiantly live a lot longer then she will. So there is no point to just pretending everything will end happy. The only thing I have to look forward to is the 'fillers' and even that isn't promising.

"Hey! INUYASHA!" pulled out of thought I look back at Kagome who has a small smile on her face. "Please come inside?" unwillingly I step towards her and get threw the door. Water falls off of me and to the ground. Sesshomaru sticks his head out of the hall way and takes one look at me.

"Get naked, you are not about to bring all that filthy and water up in the house." Scrunching my nose up at him I pull my top off, then my shoes, I start to unbutton my pants when Kagome squeaks and turns red.

"What.. what are you doing?" her voice is shaky and uncertain.

"I need to get out of the wet clothing. Plus I am keeping my boxers on, don't worry." And with that I push my pants down and drape my clothing on the hooks of the door for them to dry. I will get them in the morning to throw them in the washer. Locking the bottom door I turn to see Kagome standing there staring at me. To be more precise, staring at my midsection. I feel embarrassed and annoyed. "Excuse me." Waving my head in front of her face she turns beat red.

"I uh…. I was just... I…" her face falls to the floor and I roll my eyes.

"I thought the point of me coming inside was to get warm, I kind of would like some pajamas." Her face flushes as she moves to the side letting me up the stairs. Walking up she follows slowly, not wanting to turn and see where she is looking I make my way to the top. Seeing Sesshomaru with his back to me putting down his mug I seize the moment and jump on his back. He stiffens up under me.

"You are wet and cold get the hell off." He says slowly and almost in a whisper. But I start laughing anyway.

"What no hug for me? That's no way to say welcome back lil bro!" he doesn't more or talk.

"Oh wooooooow… That's kind of hot, can you two stay like that for a minute I gotta find my camera!" my eyes grow big as Kagome says the last part and I slide off his back. As she walks back out she is looking at the camera turning it on, looking up her face falls and a frown sits firmly on her face. "Hey! I wanted a pic!"

"Feh!" I mutter out as I go back into the rooms and pull open a drawer with the clothing inside. Looking threw until I find what I am looking for, the warm cotton pajamas that are red. Pulling them out and smiling at them I toss them on the bed behind me. Opening the drawer above it I grab a pair of boxers. I turn to see Kagome standing next to the bed. Raising an eyebrow at her in question of what she is doing she goes completely red again.

"I wanted to tell you I am sorry. I know I have been, a bitch. But I want to make it up to you." looking to the pajamas and feeling the goose bumps creeping up on my skin I look at her again.

"Warm outfit please then this after?" I look at her pleading with my eyes.

"I am not stopping you from changing go on." She says this so calmly and simply I feel myself blushing at it. I am not about to change with her in here. She has seen me naked already, and it was embarrassing then and it will be now.

"Feh, fine." Is all I reply grabbing the clothing from the bed, her eyes open wider at this. I go off to the bathroom and I can hear her sigh with relief. Putting the pajamas on the shelf I turn and head back out to the room to grab a towel. Kagome hasn't moved at all and is still staring at me. "What?" she shakes her head and runs out the door. Sighing I grab the towel and head to the shower to clean up and warm up.

Stepping out of the room I feel amazing, not only and I clean but oh so warm. I feel all fuzzy inside to. Walking over to where Sesshomaru and Kagome are sitting watching some show on tv I grab a pillow and throw it on the floor and plop down.

"Hey Sess, can you toss me a blanket?" I roll back to look at him and make a puppy face.

"You look like you have to poop when you do that." He says as he throws a blanket my way. Grabbing it I toss it over my feet and make a cocoon around myself to keep warm. I like this blanket a lot, it has a picture of a panda on it and it is very fuzzy and very warm. Thinking about how comfy the blanket was an idea pops into my head.

"Hey Kagome. You wanted to tell me something in the room?" I roll back over to see her blush from the rocking chair. She has her legs pulled up to her chest and is hugging them, she looks so small like that.

"Um.. That is.. Erm. Yeah but, I kinda wanted to talk in uhh.. private…" blushing she looks down at her knees. Sitting up I look at her then nod my head.

"Alright, to the room then!" throwing my fist in the air for extra show I stand up and wait for her to follow. Once we get to the room I turn the light on. As she walks in she turns and shuts the door.

"I wanted to say I am sorry." She looks down at the floor again.

"Yeah you already said that, before I cut you off, sorry bout that." I smile and rub the back of my head. She blushes even deeper then before. She takes a step towards me and grabs my hands.

" I over heard you the other night, talking. I didn't mean to hurt you." her eyes look foggy as if in thought. I frown. I should have checked before talking to him. I open my mouth to say something but am firmly cut off by her leaving forward and lightly kissing me. My eyes grow wide, but I shut them as I lean into her and kiss her back.

Wootness. Another chapter down. Okay soooo, I wanted to tell you guys I am sorry. I was rereading my chapters and have noticed that the images in my head stay in my head so, less detailed stories. MY BAD! I am going to try to write everything down. More detail = more fun to read. Also. I don't know how you guys feel about going to Kags pov. Personally I don't mind writing it, but I know sometimes I don't like reading it. Meh! Tell me your feelings, if you like it I will keeping going on with her point of view when I feel it nessisary, but if you guys don't tell me I am not going to do it. I have not been the biggest fan of writing from a females point, cuz I have no idea what runs threw their mind. (I will never understand the females) Hope you all liked this chapter!


	22. Chapter 22

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Lying in the bed staring at the dark ceiling I can hear both Kagome and Sesshomaru breathing lightly as they sleep. I can't get my mind off of earlier. She kissed me. Not only that she said she loved me. And not only that! She said she will never leave me. Rubbing my eyes I roll over focusing on the wall now. I feel like a dick. I was thinking so many negative things about her, about me, and about life. But here she was, confessing to me. But I have been to blind to see the truth the hole time. I mentally slap myself for thinking those things. As the rain beats the outside walls I sigh. I wonder if I should tell her I found the box. Maybe she forgot about it, or maybe she doesn't want to remember. But the desire to know what is inside is killing me. I sit up on the edge of the bed and walk out into the kitchen, silently closing the door behind me. Going to the fridge I open it up and look inside, wondering what I want I sigh again. I can't sleep and I do not know what to do with myself. Shutting the fridge I go over and sit on the sofa and turn the TV on low, as I flip threw the channels I come across a cartoon and leave it on. I watch as the cat chases the mouse around with a axe. I never thought TV could be so, so violent. Shaking my head at the scene on the TV I look to the window. Lightening dances across the sky. I wonder what other people are doing right now. It is late but I wonder if other people have the same problems I do, so much on their mind they just can't seem to fall asleep. Playing with a stray lock of hair I look back to the TV to see the mouse launching itself out of a cannon. Snorting at the show I grab the blanket and pull it around me. A couple of minutes pass and I hear the door creak open. Looking over I see Kagome come out slowly, her hair a mess from sleeping. She walks over to me rubbing the sleep from her eyes and sits next to me.

"what cha doooing?" she says still sounding half asleep. Shrugging I look at her.

"Dunno can't sleep thought I would turn this thing on and find something." She looks at the TV and giggles.

"Tom and Jerry? I used to watch that all the time as a child." Her eyes light up at the thought. I watch her as she pulls her legs up to her and hugs them. I toss the blanket over her and she gladly accepts and leans on me. I can feel myself blushing.

"Hey Kagome?" she looks up to me.

"Hmm?" she rubs her eyes as she answers.

"I hate to pry, but I was going threw your things at the old house." She blushes and sighs.

"Yeah? What did you find?"

"Well, do you know anything about the key?" I don't want to shove it right out there, I feel bad for looking threw the house with out permission.

"Yeah why?" she gets a question look in her eyes.

"Do you know what that key went to?" I start to fidget with the corner of the blanket.

"Kinda, why?" her eyebrows pull in like she was trying to fully remember.

"I found the key."

"Okay?"

"And the box." My voice trails off on this. She sits up straight and looks at me in the eyes.

"Really? Whats inside?!" blushing I shake my head.

"I don't know it wasn't my place to open it, I erm, read your diary and I felt bad enough." Looking down I feel worse then before about it all.

"Oh….. Well I don't mind. You don't hate me?" I look at her shocked.

"Why would I hate you?" she frowns and pulls the blanket closer to herself.

"Cuz of all the things I did and all. I was not a good person." I shake my head again.

"You are a good person Kagome. Besides, the only things in the diary were about what happened to your parents really, I don't remember what else was in it, not like there were that many pages left anyways." She sighs and leans back against me.

"Yeah I guess. But I don't know what is in the box. I was kind of hoping you did now that you bring it up. I forgot about it, I haven't reread any of my diary's in a long time. I didn't writing in them often. So I didn't think I wrote anything important." I can feel her heat coming from her body and I smile slightly.

"I guess we can find out together, I just like how we are right now." She smiles and closes her eyes and so do I, soon I can feel myself falling to sleep.

MEH so I didn't want to put this in the last chapter because I liked where it ended, but I wanted to add this also, so tada I guess. Oh and I forgot on the last chapter but THANK YOUUUUU CITYOFFALLENASHES FOR THE REVIEW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. If you're a guy, no homo, if you're a girl ;) heeeey. Just kidding. I hope you all like this even though it is short. Well it is 1 am and I am off to bed, more tomorrow I promise **holds out my pinky**


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Of all the things to wake up to, it had to be Sesshomaru banging two pots together in front of my face. Grumbling and pushing them away from me I sit up and reach my arms up stretching. Kagome is already in the kitchen sipping some apple juice it looks like. Reaching down and grabbing the blanket I toss it on the sofa and head off towards the kitchen, I think a Monster will be nice, maybe some Ramen. Scratching my head Sesshomaru hits my arm.

"Hey!" rubbing my arm I glare at him.

"It is already 10:30 you sleep to much." Kagome giggles as Sesshomaru rolls his eyes at me.

"Talk later noms now." I grin as Kagome pulls the Ramen out, it's like she knows.

"Kagome and me were talking, and we have decided." He pauses and watches me, I hate when he does this, he just has to make sure I am paying attention. Rolling my eyes and looking at him by tilting my head towards him I frown.

"What have you two decided, EEEE RAMEN!" I grab the bowl that Kagome has held out to me, the grin right back on my face. Sitting down at the table the smell of it makes my mouth water, I love this stuff! Kagome laughs again and sits next to me.

"Today is gonna be so much fun! Inuyasha you have never been to a carnival! There is one in town for today and tomorrow." She squeaks as the thought sets in further.

"I have no idea what that is, but as long as you keep making Ramen I have no problem doing anything." Sesshomaru pushes off the counter and looks at me for a half a second before laughing.

"Might as well call it a Scooby Snack." He then vanishes into the room. I feel angry but also confused, looking at Kagome I lean closer to her.

"Do you know what a Scooby Snack is?" her eyes grow wide as she looks like she is holding back from laughing. Shaking her head she grabs my arm and drags me to the TV. Flipping threw some channels she lands on one. It has a tall thin guy with a green shirt standing next to a short lady who looks so nerdy and has a neon orange top on, in the middle of them there is a huge brown dog. A few minutes of the show drag on until a blond lady comes up to the dog and asks if he would run in front of the motorcycle riding ghost for a Scooby Snack. A frown grows on my face I take off running to the room.

"YOU JERK IMA KILL YOUUU! YOU CANT CALL ME A MUTT LIKE THAT BROTHERLY LOVE SESSHOMARU. BROTHERLLLLY LOOOOVE!" A lot of banging around and moments later Sesshomaru has me by the back of my top and walking out into the kitchen looking to Kagome.

"You showed him?" she nodded in response. "Stay boy." He puts me back on solid ground and goes back into the room. Feeling my face heat up I watch him walk away debating charging at him again and attacking. Rubbing my arm I decide I do want to ask him something. Looking at Kagome, she has settled onto the sofa and is still watching that Scooby snack show. I walk into the room to see Sesshomaru sitting on his bed and looking threw a book. Clearing my throat he looks up at me.

"Yes little brother?" his voice is coated with annoyance and he looks less then thrilled to talk to me right now.

"I have a question, can I talk to you." Looking down at the carpet and pushing my toes threw it I wait while he takes a few seconds to process.

"Sure one question, and the answer is no, glad to be of help." Frowning I look up at him who is looking right back with a stern look planted on his face.

"Listen to me! I need to ask, it is important!" he rolls his eyes and closes the small book and looks to me.

"Alright what is it you need? Money? Drugs? A slot machine? I can't provide anything of use to you right now, advice wise also, my head is foggy." As he says this he swings his legs up onto the bed and leans back placing his hands on the back of his head.

"No nothing like that." Looking back to the floor I think of how to word it right. "I want to… Train…. With you." I hear him shift in the bed and he clears his throat.

"Train? As in math? I don't think I can help." Looking up at him I can't believe he is making me spell this out. I know he can be pushing all but this is horrible.

"Fighting! I want to fight with you again, I want to get stronger!" balling my hands into fists his face stretches into a grin and he waves a hand at me.

"You should have just said so! Why I would be more then happy to kick your ass again!" the grin has spread from ear to ear by now and I feel the heat rising to my face. I want to punch him. But I want to hug him to. I was more afraid of him saying to leave and that he didn't have time to train me. But he said yes, well maybe not to the training but he said he would fight me! And what better why to improve on something then practice over and over. Letting a slow breath out I smile to.

"Thank you Sesshomaru!" jumping over on my bed I pull the covers up over me. The weather is changing and it is starting to get a bit cold outside. Kagome likes it cold so she can wear sweatshirts and such. I would prefer it to be a bit warmer. No need to ac in this kind of weather.

Sitting down at the table for dinner Kagome is ranting about how tomorrow will be so much fun. She has the whole day planned out for the carnival. First we wake up, then shower, get dressed, eat, pack lunches, go to the carnival, and she went on about all the rides she wants to try. I have never been to a carnival. At lest in this time. I know when I was a boy still the carnival was filled with dancing and singing. There were food places selling fresh fish and rice balls. But I don't remember any rides of any kind. I kind of feel excited for it tomorrow, that is if she wasn't going to wake us up at 6am. I like my sleep. Sesshomaru said that I have a bad relationship with my bed. I told him it wouldn't be bad if people didn't keep trying to separate us. But he just said I was nuts. But for real I like to sleep. And sleep likes me. I don't think I will like being up that early. Sighing as I take a bite of the food in front of me I look at the window. It is so cold out there I can almost smell the snow. Hugging the blanket that I have wrapped around me close I look over at Kagome and Sesshomaru who are in a deep conversation about something called Karaoke. I have no idea what that food is, and when I asked if it tastes good they both laughed. So I have been lost in my mind for a while, no listening to them anymore. Watching Kagome laugh at something Sesshomaru said I frown. I can never get her to laugh like that. I wonder if she likes him more then me. I know she said that she likes me but I wonder if she means it. I told her I love her. And when every she says it it sounds strained like it is hard for her to say it with it sounding like she ment it. Standing I grab my plate and put it on the ground and Shadow starts attacking the meat pattys on it in seconds. I grab my blanket and head of to the room and crawl into my bed. I don't think I want to look at them anymore right now. My heart hurts and I don't like it.

~Kagomes' POV~

After cartoons were over Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were both in the bedroom. When I looked in to ask them if they wanted to go to the carnival now they both were sleeping. Sighing as I think of the boys I stir the veggies for the stew that will be ready tomorrow and put the chicken parmesan in the oven. I grab the carrots and a knife and start chopping them up. Sesshomaru walks in the kitchen and grabs a pop he looks over at me and frowns.

"Why do you always make such big dishes, there is only three of us, and Inuyasha doesn't even eat much." He pulls a chair out from the table and settles himself in it.

"I don't know. I guess cuz I would rather make to much then to little." I reply and shrug. I always make so much because I am always trying to get Inuyasha to eat more. When he was in the dog form he would never eat, if he did he would get sick. And now, he normally eats a pack of ramen and a bite or two at dinner. I don't understand how he can eat so little and still feel alright. Sesshomaru at lest eats like a regular person, maybe not as much as most men, or even woman for that fact, but he eats three meals a day. Sighing I look over to Inuyasha who is playing with Shadow in the living room. As he rolls the ball across the floor Shadow scurries to try and stop it and smashes his head into the coffee table. Giggling at the pup I turn back to chopping up my veggies.

After a hour of cooking the dinner is done and the stew is set for tomorrow all it needs now it to sit there over night in the pot and simmer. Smiling I look over at the brothers as they watch TV. Inuyasha is covering his ears at the loud part and Sesshomaru looks like his eyes are going to pop out, but other then that he seems fine.

"Hey you two. Dinnerrrrrr!" pulling themselves up off the sofa they walk over to the table and sit. Inuyasha drags his blanket over with him and sits down and makes a cocoon around himself. Pulling a plate over to myself I grab some of the food and start to eat and Sesshomaru does the same.

"Great dinner. As always." Sesshomaru states and continues to eat.

"I want a karaoke machine." I look at Sesshomaru and say. I love singing and having one would make it more fun because the two of them could sing with me.

"Does it taste good?" Inuyasha blurts out and his ear twitch. I cant help it but giggle, he is so cute. Sesshomaru starts laughing at his comment. He sighs and drags a plate near him and pulls a piece of meat from the pot to his plate and pushes at it. Rolling my eyes I start to open my mouth to tell him what it is when Sesshomaru cuts me off.

"If we did get one. What would you do with it. Would you actually use that thing?" his eyebrows are scrunched up and he looks kind of upset.

"Of course and so would you guys I would make you." I smile big as he takes another bite.

"Oh no. There is no way we will get one then, I don't think I Lord Sesshomaru should have to strain my ears listening to you, a human, wail into the TV." My face heats up as I feel the anger spike.

"How do you know what I sound like, hell I might be an angel when I sing." I cross my arms holding my fork careful not to get any food on my sleeve.

"Doubt it, I heard you in the shower, and it sucked." He frowns as he says this.

"You are a liar!" I stab him with my fork to make a point. No pun intened.

"No I am not, if we got Karaoke, then not only would I hear you again, I could hear you from the whole house, even outside. Loud. And. Clear. And I don't want that." He shakes his head as he says this and jabs me with his fork in return. Suddenly Inuyasha stands up and drops his plate to the ground letting Shadow eat his meal. He didn't even try it! He pulls his blanket behind him and goes into the room. Looking back at Sesshomaru he is smiling.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just I think that would be way of saying he doesn't want to hear your voice blaring threw the house either. Your loud enough with out a mic."

Sorry for the late update, I have had a lot of things going on, plus horrible writers block. Thank you guys who imed me telling me what you wanted. But I am sorry I didn't include any of them. When I tried to put them in, I couldn't get past it. I just couldn't think of a story line. Well I hope you all liked this chapter. Again sorrrrrry for the late update! Oh and thanks to kittyredblueandgreen for the review. Great name by the way reminded me of a kitty flag ^^;


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own Inuyasha** **do I really need to say this every time**

Laying in bed I listen to the last few birds that are left in the area, the rest have gone to escape the coming winter. A sigh escapes me as thoughts race threw my head. I want to talk to Kagome about everything, but I am pretty sure she will blow me off like she always does on this matter. She and Sesshomaru are in the kitchen eating breakfast and we are leaving soon for the carnival. Rolling my eyes I swing my legs off the bed and go do the dresser and pull out a pair of jeans and a shirt, looking them over I frown and think of how I would like to be running around in my birthday suit still. But with the two of them here that is out of the question. Though I am glad Sesshomaru is back, I didn't miss him, but once I had my memories handed back I realize I did miss him. But I guess I am still kind of angry with him. I wanted Kagome to love me, to be my mate one day. But so far it looks like Sesshomaru will have the honor of that. Heading off towards the bathroom I pull my night shirt over my head and toss it in the dirty basket. If nothing else I would like my own freaking room. I have to change in the bathroom because last time I was changing Sesshomaru walked in, and that was probably the worst day of my life. After he finished yelling and hitting me I realized maybe the bathroom is the best idea. Closing the door behind me I change and wash my face off. Sighing for what seems the millionth time already today I look in the mirror. What is wrong with me? Am I that ugly or gross that she cant stand me? Running a hand threw my hair I shake my head and push those thoughts away. No it wouldn't be that it was me being to ugly to look at, it would be that Sesshomaru is just better on the eyes. If I were to go gay for a day, not that I ever would, I would have to say if he wasn't my brother he would be the one I would go for. I slap my face to pull myself out of my thoughts and head back out into the bedroom and open the closet up. Scanning threw it for a warm coat I find a hoodie that is really large that I have not worn yet. Pulling it down I look at the front, it says 'Welcome to the dark side' and has a cookie on it. Rolling my eyes I pull it over my head and adjust it on me. I remember once when Kagome was shopping she grabbed a cookie mix and started screaming come to the dark side for my cookies. I ended up walking away because she was drawing a lot of attention to herself and me. Walking out of the room I take in the sight of Sesshomaru throwing a dog treat across the room and Shadow start peeing on the rug as he runs for it. My nose wrinkles up at the smell that suddenly overtakes my senses. Kagome lets out a ear splitting shriek as she grabs the dog and head out the door and down the stairs. A moment later I can hear her yelling from outside that 'this is the potty not the carpet' frowning I look up at Sesshomaru who is staring at the carpet with disgust.

"He probably doesn't like the cold. I know I gotta pee a lot more lately to." He looks over at me and a frown graces his lips.

"That is no way for a dog to act, you should now this well." Now it is my turn to frown.

"Hey he don't have thumbs. You cant blame him." I wiggle my thumbs at him as I say this and a smile creeps over his face.

"Try telling that to Kagome, I am sure you will have a lot of luck with that." He tosses a hat at me as he pulls a steam cleaner out. Flipping it on he traces over the line of pee that is across the floor.

"So what is going on with her?" Pausing his cleaning for a moment he looks over at me.

"What do you mean?" his eyebrows are pulled in and he looks confused.

"Well she isn't talking much to me anymore, she only wants to be around you." He turns the machine off and drags it over to the closet by the door after putting the wire around it.

"I am not the one to be talking with this about it is not my decision to have made it was hers, and it is her mind that she needs to find the answers to tell you." Dusting himself off he grabs a new knit hat out of the chest by the table.

"Whats that mean." He pulls his hat on and frowns at me again.

"Don't ask me silly questions Inuyasha, I do not know the answer to them, you are asking to much of me. Put that hat on before we leave it is cold out." Frowning deeper I hear Kagome pull the door open downstairs.

"Yes mother." He gives me a cold glare at this but turns around and finishes his tea before rinsing the mug out. Shadow comes flying threw the door and jumps on the sofa and lays down. Kagome is next threw the door and she looks pissed.

"That stupid dog!" she looks over at me then to Sesshomaru.

"Ready to go?" Sesshomaru and I both nod and follow her out the door, on the way down the stairs I pull the hat over my head. Following the two of them down the street I listen to them as they talk.

"Are you excited about today?" she says to him and smiles. The frown that had faded from me is back and firmly planted on my face again, I love how she is just ignoring me today.

"Do I look excited?"

"You never look like anything, which is why I am asking."

"No I am not, it is cold, and early I would rather be sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea and a book." She hits his arm at this.

"You need to get out more! All you ever do is those two things, don't you ever just like getting fresh air?" shoving my hands deep in my pockets I look at the park to the left of us. I stop walking and watch as the two of them continue not even noticing that I am not still there. A pulling in my chest makes me feel sad and alone. Looking down at my feet I turn and go to the park. At lest I wont get rejected by the swings.

~Kagomes Pov~

Arriving at the carnival a smile creeps over my face. Sesshomaru is such a downer sometimes. At lest him and Inuyasha didn't fight on the way here.

"Tickets for three please!" I ask the man at the booth and hand him the money. Sesshomaru clears his throat from behind me.

"You should probably say two." Frowning I feel the heat coming to my face.

"You are not leaving!" I spin around on my heals and stare at him.

"I never said I was woman, but if you haven't noticed we are missing someone." He rolls his eyes and feeling dumb I look around, and sure enough, Inuyasha is not here. Frowning I feel the anger inside me spike and I turn to the man at the booth again.

"Tickets for two please." Sighing I think of where he could have gone. Handing the man my money, I drag Sesshomaru inside, at lest he is here I will have a good day damn it. But as the hours go by and ride after ride, I cant help but feel the anger grow in me as well as guilt, I had not noticed him leave, and more so I didn't even talk to him. I have been mean lately, but I really don't know what to say to him. He told me he loves me. I mean of course I love him back. But what if I really start to open up to him, and start to show him how much he means to me, and he rejects me. Sighing again I look at Sesshomaru who is arguing with a man at a small game booth. He knocked over the jars that were standing up with the ball, the guy refuses to give him a prize because no one is ever supposed to knock them over. Sesshomaru then flips the tent. Smacking my hand to my forehead I run up to him and grab his arm.

"Time to go now?" I ask him not wanting to get in trouble or have anymore little problems come up I tug his arm. Forcing a smile out to make him not think I am trying to make him do things so he doesn't yell I tug at his arm.

"Time for tea!" he allows me to steer him away from the crowd and to the exit of the carnival.

~Inuyasha Pov~

Kicking a stone as I walk along the sidewalk I think of all the things I should say to her. I know she wanted to have fun today with us, but it seems only one sided. Jumping to a near by tree I scan the crowd for them. I see Sesshomaru arguing with a man in a tent. I roll my eyes as he flips the tent over in anger. I get ready to jump down as Kagome goes flying up to him and grabs his arm, a smile spreads across her face and she drags him across the place to the exit. I feel the pain kick up inside me again. So she hasn't missed me, and she is all over him. Thinking back from earlier Sesshomaru did say is was up to her to tell me. I guess that means he doesn't want to tell me that they are now going to be dating. Holding back the knot in my throat from escaping I jump down from the tree and head off the opposite way they are going. It is not my home anymore. I am not wanted and I think that has been made clear.

~Kagomes Pov~

I watch the window as the sun sets holding a cup of hot chocolate in my hands to warm my finger tips. I wonder where he is. Frowning I look over to Sesshomaru who is at the kitchen table doing a word puzzle.

"Where do you think he is?" he glances up at me for a moment then puts his pen down.

"I think he is about 15 miles south of here." I roll my eyes at him I put my mug on my knee and rest it there.

"Okay smartass, I asked where you thought he was not some bull." His face twisted into something that is scary.

"I told you where he is wench because I can smell him, and from the sent he is not near us and is around 15 miles south of us." Picking his pen up again he buries his nose into the puzzle again.

"Well why isn't he at home?"

"How the hell should I know, what am I google?" I wrinkle my nose at him.

"No but you knew where he was so I thought maybe you would know more." He looks at me like he is about to explode.

"I do not know why my brother is so far from here, all I know is that he is no where near us. Now if you don't mind." He gestures down at his puzzle then continues to work on it.

"Grumpy."

"I will end your life in a second if I knew my brother wouldn't be rattled with grief over a human. But the best I can over you is a few broken bones."

"You need to learn to relax you know that." I blow over my mug and take a small sip.

"And you need to learn to shut the hell up." I let out a sigh and put the mug on the coffee table and turn the TV on. Maybe some TV will get my mind off of everything.

**Okay guys. So I hope you liked this chapter. Thank you to CityOfFallenAshes for the reviews, and sorry I scared you. Buuuuuuut I do love getting reviews. Plus half the pms I get are creepy people saying some weird stuffs, so a nice review always makes me smile. Also I will be trying to update more, because I broke my pinky promise, you guys can hit me later for that, but I will make it up to you guys, the writers block is kinda gone so yeah. Give me ideas plz I will try to put them in to the story. I always love hearing from you guys about what you think would add to the story. Well until next time happy reading!**


	25. Chapter 25

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Weeks have gone by and no matter how much I ask Sesshomaru he will not go to Inuyasha. I feel horrible now. Think about it I have been pushing him away and it is not fair to him. Pulling the cover over me I ball up on the bed and hold myself. I think that when I see him again and he comes home I need to talk with him. But I really don't want him to see who I really am, I locked that person away so long ago, made sure I would never get hurt and never let anyone in. I learned a lot from the stays at the hospital and one of them was to let people in more and be more free with my feelings. But I don't know if I can do it. I am being silly I know, but I just cant bring myself to talk to him or be myself when he is around. Pulling my pillow down a little and then pulling my hand back under the covers quickly as to not let the air out I sigh. I really do love him, and I know he probably hates me now, but I wish he would understand why I am the way I am. Sure he may have a shitty life, but so have I. I don't even know most of his life because he has never told me. But to be fair I never gave him a good reason to really talk with me about it all. He told me briefly about everything, a quick run threw, but that was all. I want details! But how can I ask for them when I am not willing to tell him the details about me. Frowning I think of all the times I blew him off, ignored him, or yelled at him for something small. It is amazing at how much he will put up with, and I see why he left. I bet he needed some time to clear his head, and cool down.

~Inu Pov~

Life sucks. Its cold, dark, and I think I got a cold. Great, how can things get worse. Wait! I don't want to know, normally asking this question gets the situation much worse then what it is. Rubbing my nose I look down at the deer under me. I have been sleeping in the trees, much to my dismay, I have gotten used to beds and this hurts. I wish life was simple. I wish things would go back to the way they were. I wish that I never met Kagome, or remembered my past. Then I could be sitting alone right now. Like they say ignorance is bliss, and I am beginning to understand why. Not only have I been feeling horrible from the weather, but from my heart. I hate to admit it but for the first time I can truly say I feel pain like no other. Even to the past people I have liked, I have never admitted I loved them, and such a short time. I have no idea what I was thinking when I told her that, and to actually say it, put myself out there, then be shot down, denied, rejected, it hurts far worse then if I didn't say anything at all. Picking a leaf from the tree I tear it along the lines within it. I guess it could be worse. I mean if I really was back to the days like before I would still be sitting there wondering who I was and all. At lest now I know and I feel alive. But feeling alive isn't doing anything for me right now. Comfortably numb would do a lot for me. Or maybe even a fall on the head and a black out. Shaking my head at such thoughts I sit forward on the brand. I hope they are doing okay, I didn't even tell Sesshomaru this time that I was leaving. But I was mad at him. A strong urge to bang my head on the tree trunk over comes me. I wish someone would just tell me something. Sneezing I rub my nose again. Maybe it is time to go home and find out what is really going on. And better yet, get a bowl of ramen and a blanket and a nice pair of pajamas. A soft bed, some monster, a pillow. A small line of drool leaks out of my mouth as I think of the giant bowl of ramen. Yup that does it I will go back, for the ramen, and the comforts of the soft clean clothing. Jumping from the tree I land on the ground and slip and fall on my behind from the morning dew that blankets the grass. Cursing under my breath I watch the deer run off. Standing slowly I rub my hind side. Great now I am wet. Scrunching my face I leap into the trees and take off for home.

~Kagomes Pov~

I hate him, he never even gave me a chance. I think when he gets back I am going to slap him. I cant take it, I feel like my feelings are getting tossed around like he doesn't care. I pull the blanket up over my head. So what if I ignored him for a bit, he should understand, the asshole read my diaries. Even though they were old it still kind of hurt that he would invade my privacy like that. And from reading that stuff he should know that I have been threw hell and back. He should know that I need time and space sometimes. I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. He doesn't even like my meals I cook, only ramen. Of all things to fall in love with food wise, he picks a 99 cents dinner. Not the home made ones I spend hours making to try to get him to eat right. I don't buy the crap he tells me about not having to eat, or it makes me sick, or I haven't eaten for years, or my favorite one, I am not in the mood to eat. Doesn't he know it hurts, I took all that time cooking which I don't really like to do, for him to give it to the dog! A scowl is planted on my face as I think of all the excuses and lies he feeds me. Do I really look that dumb? I don't get it! And his brother oooooo don't get me started. All he ever does is sit and drink tea, with a book or word puzzle, or watch TV. I mean he doesn't get in the way or bother anyone but could you ask for a lamer roomie. I thought moving in here would make my life better. I mean I had been watching Inuyasha for years and planning on talking to him. I met him and he was amazing! But then his brother came along. And he has changed. I am sooooo going to hurt him for this all. Making me wait, making me worry, I am to young to be worrying about this stuff I will get grey hairs.

~Inuyashas Pov~

Leaping from tree branch to tree branch I cant help but smile. I cant wait to get home. I want to talk with Kagome and say sorry for leaving with no warning. I kind of hope he is worried about me, but knowing her and everything going on she hasn't really noticed. I cant wait to annoy Sesshomaru again either, my favorite pass time. I wonder what they have been doing since I was camping with mother nature. Getting lost in my thoughts I land on a branch and just stand there for a second before pushing my thoughts of how happy I will be seeing the two of them again aside. Pushing of the branch again I resume my journey home. I wonder what I should tell her. 'Hey Kagome! Long time no see, I missed you' no that's not good, ' Hey Kagome, how are you haven't been here for a bit so I don't know' gah that's not good either. Thinking for a second I smile as I think of a funny one, 'Hey Kagome I haven't been home in a while now make me some ramen' I know for sure I will get hit for that one. Why is it that it is so hard to try and think of the right things to her, its like I am being judged all the time. I wish I could just talk with out feeling like im being looked down on. I mean with Sesshomaru that's a given, but he does it in a way I don't mind, but with Kagome it is like I am being picked apart, and she doesn't really say much. That worries me at times. Gah! I don't care about that stuff I just want to see her again! Just seeing her face makes me happy. Knowing she is okay makes me at ease. I guess I can except if she wants Sesshomaru I will just be on the sidelines making sure nothing hurts her. I can feel a tug in my chest as I think of her being with him instead of me but I know that if it makes her happy and that is what she wants I will have to deal with it. The smile creeps back over my face as I think of all the things I can say to her. Maybe hug her, tell her I missed her. As my mind wanders I can feel my self getting nervous and excited I cant wait till I see her!

~Kagomes Pov~

Maybe it would be best if I just don't say anything to him if I see him again I mean he did hurt my feelings. I have never been left like that out of the blue, at lest last time he left he told Sesshomaru everything. But this time he just up and leaves. How is that anyway to treat someone. A cold shoulder and a smack to the face. That is what I am going to do. If he walks threw this door or I see him out and he walks up to me, I will slap him and walk away! If he doesn't like it, then maybe he shouldn't have left like that. I bite my lower lip, I know I sound like a complete bitch, but really I want him to hurt like I am hurting, he always seems so carefree and unfazed by things, and I don't like that. I wish he cared more about me. I wish he thought about me a lot and wished that I was okay. Instead all he thinks about is himself. Even when I first met him, he stayed as a dog all the time, he didn't want to talk to me. I know it was strange for a stranger to walk into his home sleep on his bed then ask to stay with out even knowing him. But he say yes. That should be enough to think about someone. If he didn't like me or the idea he should have said so. I even left before, I thought he came and got me because he cared, I guess it was only because he wanted me back because he didn't want to be left alone with Sesshomaru.

~Inuyasha pov~

Standing in front of the door outside my smile grows big as I think of how happy I am to see them. I never thought I would feel so alone. But I don't care about being hurt. Truthfully all I want is to see Kagome and see that she is happy. I guess to me that is enough. I pull the door open slowly and step inside. Taking a deep breath I start to climb the stairs.

**Okay guys, I think that is a good place to stop :D right? I have been up for 2 days now and actually am feeling sleepy so I am cutting it off here and going to go sleep. Sorry but I will get more up tomorrow I hope, or later today, depending on how long i sleep and when I feel like sitting in front of a computer screen. Big thanks to**

**Twistedheart27**** – I will be updating more often glad you like it, and yes Kagome is being selfish. Don't you love drama :D**

**CityOfFallenAshes**** - :D Glad you found it funny, I was hoping someone would find the humor in it I did when I was writing. And creepy pms are creepy, and disturbing D:**

**Guest**** – that is a wonderful name, love it. Best name ever, you should get a fanfiction account so I could say thank you by name for reviewing, but at lest you know who I am talking to when I say guest. And I shall be updating soon! And the roller coaster will be starting shortly don't you worry!**


	26. Chapter 26

**I do not own Inuyasha .**

Walking up the stairs is taking more out of me then I would like, all the possible reactions from Kagome running threw my head I want to see her but now I am having second thoughts. Letting out a sigh as I reach the top, I stare at the door knob. It is to late to turn back now, Sesshomaru knows I am here for sure, and he probably isn't to happy with my leave of absents. Grabbing the handle I turn it and push the door open slowly, Shadow already has his nose in the crack and he is whining softly for me to step inside. I put my hand down and push him back as I stop in and look around, Sesshomaru is already staring at me from the kitchen table to my right with a mug in one hand and a look of annoyance. Forcing a smile on my face I scan the rest of the room. Kagome is not in here so she must be in bed, her smell is heavy in the air so I know she has not left. As I close the door I look back to Sesshomaru a question already leaving his mouth.

"And you took a field trip where?" he looks concerned more then anything at my appearance. Shrugging I pull a chair back and plop down.

"Just out in the woods. I needed time to think I guess. How are things here?" he rolls his eyes now the concern that they held a moment ago gone and replaced with a dull anger.

"Well besides the constant crabbing from little miss sunshine, wonderful. Do you understand that I went threw hell. I do not like that woman and you left me here alone with her, I gave you time and did not follow I hope you are happy." A scowl now is over his face. But at those words, a wave of relief washes over my body. He doesn't like her. Which means they probably are not dating. That is good news if I do say so myself. Leaning forward on the chair I rest my head on my arms.

"Sorry. I just have been up tight lately and things around here are not helping." He chuckles and puts his mug down.

"Yes the tension between you two can be cut with a knife, I understand your frustration. I wish you would have given me a heads up though." Leaning further back in his chair he looks at ease.

"Hey, I been thinking. I want to go on a trip. You and me that is. And just you know train and stuff. I really want to get away from all this for a while." He rubs his chin as he thinks it all over, but before he can answer the bedroom door swings open and hits the wall. Looking over in a bit of a daze I see Kagome standing in the frame looking more then pissed. She starts to walk over to me with a look of hate written all over her face. Pushing a weak smile to my lips in hopes that it would calm her I turn in my chair.

"Hey Kagome, ho…" the slap that landed on my face makes my ears ring and lights go off inside my head. If I was in a daze before, I am in a stupor now. Raising a hand and placing it on my now sore check I look back up at her, rage still is swimming in her eyes.

"Hey nothing, I fucking hate you, you insensitive jerk!" of all the ways this could have gone, this was not one I thought of. Pain feels my chest and grips at my heart. And here I thought after Sesshomaru said he didn't like her, that it was all in my head. But nope here she is standing over me rejecting me.

"Wha…. Why… Kagome.." I cant form any sentence and feeling dumb I decide to just stop trying.

"I hate you!" another slap rings threw my head as she turns and walks off. Feeling dumbfounded I watch her walk away. As she sits on the sofa she gives a huff and crosses her arms. I slowly turn to look at Sesshomaru who looks just as confused at this as I am. Clearing his throat he pushes that look off his face.

"And after all the worrying you did while he was away. Poor man cant get a break from you can he." He looks mad at the event that just played out before him.

"Like I care what happens to him. He doesn't care about me." My mouth drops open at this I look at Sesshomaru pain laced into my stare. He looks back with a grim look then glances over to Kagome. Looking back to me a frown stretches over his face.

"Sorry Inuyasha." He whispers this and I have to think about what he could possibly mean. He pushes away from the table and goes to the room with me sitting there alone feeling very confused. A few moments later he comes out with a suitcase in one hand and stops in front of me.

"Oh now your leaving, finally thought I would have to see you for the rest of my life!" Kagome shouts from the sofa. The pain I am feeling is getting to be to much, is he really leaving? Standing up slowly I take a step closer to him.

"Well don't you worry wench, I am leaving and taking him with me. You dare treat me or my family with such disgrace." He looks over to me with stern eyes. I don't want to leave and I am sure he can see it. A rustle from where Kagome is and I look over to see her standing up and taking a step over.

"Ohhh no he is staying, he has sooo much he has to make up for." Sesshomaru looks from her to me then sets the suitcase down. Realization from his remark earlier is setting into place as I know what he is about to do to me. I take a deep breath, it will happen any way, and maybe he is right in making her hurt in the way I think this will.

"You don't care about him right?" he cracks his knuckles and moves his shoulder in a circle.

"Why would I? he is a jerk and I hate him." A smile runs over Sesshomarus face for an instant.

"Good. Then you don't mind if I kill him right?" taking a deep breath for what he is going to do I brace myself and close my eyes.

"What are you talking about?! Like you would do that I think I know you well enough to call your bluff. I need to make him hurt like he has done to me. I AM NOT IN THE WRONG HERE HE IS!" her voice echo's in my ears.

"Watch me." His voice is low and threating and I can feel the air around him change. In a split second I can feel him tear threw my skin and his hand sink threw me and exit my back. Her scream is all I can hold on to as I black out.

~Flash back~

The fight between me and the village of the people that I saved from the large demon who was attacking them grew and Sesshomaru refused to get involved. Standing in the middle of around 30 people I knew that I could not hurt these people. Feeling the sorrow sink in I frown. They wanted me dead after I just saved their sorry asses. Letting out a sigh I look down to my feet. A soft thud in front of me and Sesshomarus voice boomed out over the peoples protests of me being here.

"I will get rid of this demon if you allow me to leave in peace." A quick murmur went threw the crowd as an elderly man stepped forward and bowed his head.

"Tis agreed to let you leave tis long we see the slaying of thee demon." Sesshomaru bowed he head as a response then turned back to face me. In a low whisper only loud enough for me to hear he said.

"Sorry Inuyasha, trust me." Confused I was about to open my mouth when he lunged forward and drove his hand threw my midsection and out my back. The cheers of the on looking crowd roared up as I fell into his arm feeling betrayed and hurt.

Waking up I open my eyes to the setting sun, the smell of a fire with cooking fish met my nose. Then the memories of the events passed ran threw my mind. Sitting up quickly I felt the pain run threw me and wince at it. Holding my abdomen I look around to see Sesshomaru throwing his top over a tree branch then rub his hands into his pants. Looking over to me he smiles.

"I did not hit any major organs or do any harm. Trust me I did it to get the situation over with quickly, I was worried that it would be your last day here if I did not step in, you are to kind to the humans." Sitting next to me he sighs.

"I didn't die?" feeling dumb for asking I waited for an answer anyways.

"You are sitting here are you not? Where I hit you causes a good amount of blood lose, and a black out. But not death. It was a good show though I believe." He points over to the fire. "They even gave me some fish as a thank you." Frowning at him I guess I do look more odd then he does. He looks like royalty I look like a homeless dog. Shaking my head I let my head fall down.

"Thank you brother, I did not want to hurt those people." A laugh echo's around me.

"Because you are becoming soft." He sticks a fish under my nose. "Eat up. It will help you heal quick. Though you are almost healed already." Taking the fish I look at him dumbfounded. Pulling back the bandages of my top he is right, only a large scar is left. "You are half demon you know. Besides, now you know what defeat tastes like, maybe you can train that much harder to be more like me. If you were stronger, you would have stopped that and killed me on the stop." He chuckles at the thought and leans back to look at the sky. A smile grows on my face and I know that one day I will have to beat him. Not for anyone but me, to know that one day I can be the strongest.

Alright guys! Hope you liked this chapter. :D Kagome got a good kick to the ego. Thank you toooooo.

**Twistedheart27 – taaadaaaaaaa drama my dear!**

**Yarzan – ummmm alright then ^^; they are not exsactly on the terms of sex but yeah, glad you like the story and thanks for the review **

Heh **sneaks away** More to come later today I hope, got a lot of writing for the next chapter, I have a lot of ideas, and if I want it to sound right you guys should be getting a really long chapter! Happy reading!

Oooo and heres a link for the facebook I opened up for my fanfiction it's a Inuyasha rp.

. .3 add it if you want I will be keeping updated progress and what not of the storys and pulling ideas from you guys!


	27. Chapter 27

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Sleep was not coming to me and I knew this. Sitting in bed I wondered if Inuyasha would ever come back. What if I was stuck with Sesshomaru forever. A frown formed on my lips as I set up in bed. Almost as if answering my question I hear the door open. Straining my ears to hear anything I can hear Inuyasha talking to Sesshomaru. Biting back my rage and holding the urge back to go out and yell at him now I wait to hear what he is talking about. A couple of minutes pass and I can feel my blood boil. He wants to leave! And with out me! So he really doesn't care about me, after all he has said to me, it was a lie?! I cant take it any longer I need to get this anger off of me. Tossing the blankets to the side I go to the door and slam it open. A bit harder then I ment to. Inuyasha turns to face me. He looks sad, I feel pity pull at my gut as I look at him. Thinking what I should say he starts to smile. Smile! After all this and he smiles! No that's it no more miss nice Kagome!

"Hey Kagome, ho…" not letting him finish his sentence I gather all my might up and slap him in the jaw. The look on his face is unreadable now. Feeling my anger pull at me again I frown.

"Hey nothing. I fucking hate you, you insensitive jerk!" I want to say more I want to yell louder but the look on his face goes from blank to hurt in less then a second. Suddenly I feel like I should not have said that. As he raises a hand to his face he holds the spot I hit him.

"Wha… Why… Kagome.." the feeling of guilt empties from me as he talks. Does he really not know why I am upset? He thinks that he didn't do anything wrong. But in fact he hurt me. A lot. And yet he has no idea. Is he that retarded that I will have to spell this out. No I will not say that to him, if he doesn't know he is not worth my time.

"I hate you!" as the words leave my lips I feel horrible. I already started this, and I am not going to back down now. But if I wanted to still be angry and not feel bad I had to walk away. Turning on my heel I go to the sofa and sit down. A sigh leaves me and I know that I hurt him, which hurts me. I really cant believe that he doesn't know why I am upset. Sesshomaru clears his throat and pulls me out of my thoughts, looking over at him he looks beyond mad.

"And after all the worrying you did while he was away. Poor man cant get a break from you can he." His words cut me like a warm knife in butter. Yes I did worry about him while he was gone. And I did make a fuss. But he doesn't need to know this. I want him to feel bad about leaving me. With out a word. Or a warning.

"Like I care what happens to him. He doesn't care about me." I now can say this an believe it. I know if he cared about me he would not have left. He would have stayed. So what if I didn't talk to him. So what if I ignored him from time to time. he is a man and should act like one. As I watch the two of them Sesshomaru says something I cant make out to Inuyasha. Anger pulling at me again. Now I am not good enough to know what they are talking about? Sesshomaru stands and leaves to the bedroom. Leaving me and Inuyasha in the same room. He looks confused hurt and depressed. Then it hits me. What was he going to say to me. Should I ask him to forgive me? Shaking my head I push that thought away. I already made this decision to make him pay for making me hurt. And I will not back out because he looks like a lost abused puppy! Sesshomaru walks out of the room with a small suitcase.

"Oh now your leaving, finally thought I would have to see you for the rest of my life!" I yell at him. I hate him to. If it wasn't for him coming back Inuyasha would still be the same way. So he didn't talk much. But he still was the man of my dreams. He was confused at all the little things, and wanted to know so much. He didn't know about himself, something I wish I could achieve. I want to forget everything in my past and never have to think about the memories again. He had something I desired. But then he came back. Told him everything about his past. And now Inuyasha is not himself. He started to pull himself inside and not talk about many things.

"Well don't you worry wench, I am leaving and taking him with me. You dare treat me or my family with such disgrace." His glare is cold and hard as he stares at me. Pushing aside my thoughts at this I feel something pull at my chest. I stand up and look right back at him with intense eyes.

"Ohh no he is staying, he has sooo much he has to make up for." He looks at me for a little bit, then drops the suitcase he had been holding. Some how instead of feeling good about all of this I am beginning to regret opening my mouth. But that is not right.

"You don't care about him right?" as he says this he cracks his hands and stretches his shoulders. But thinking about it, it hurts to say no, but no turning back!

"Why would I? he is a jerk and I have him." Sesshomaru smiles for a second at this and I can feel myself wanting to take back time and still be in bed right now. I don't want to fight. I didn't want to hurt Inuyasha, I just want him back to the way he was.

"Good. Then you don't mind if I kill him right?" looking at Inuyasha he looks like he is about to melt into the floor. Looking back at Sesshomaru I frown.

"What are you talking about?! Like you would do that I think I know you well enough to call your bluff. I need to make him hurt like he has done to me. I AM NOT IN THE WRONG HERE HE IS!" the last part comes out with out me thinking, I can feel my control on this situation slipping and I want it back. But I know he is bluffing, after all the talk of wanting the best for his brother and yada yada, he wouldn't hurt him.

"Watch me." His voice is so low and threatening I almost shudder at the sound. Looking at him I want to yell shut up you liar. But from the look of him I don't. the air around him seems to shift around his body and hand begins to glow a faint yellow. My eyes widen as I watch him. I don't know what he is doing but it has me firmly planted to the floor. A split second and he lunges forward, his hand pushes into his stomach and with a sickening noise shoots out from his back. A scream escapes my lips as I watch the blood drip out from Inuyasha and on to the floor. As Sesshomaru pulls his arm out Inuyasha falls to his knees coughing. I can feel my body tremble as he looks to me. The look he gives me is a look that says this could have been avoided. My bottom lip trembles and I want to rush over to him. His eyes begin to glaze over and darken as he falls forward on the floor. Watching his body as he lays motionless I turn my head to Sesshomaru.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! HE WAS YOUR BROTHER!" Tears now rolling down my checks I force my legs to move and run in front of Sesshomaru and hit his chest. He pushes me back with little effort.

"I asked if you minded. You never gave me an answer just doubted my resolve. Like I would let him fall in love with a human who is so selfish they cant see what is in front of them. Instead you disgrace him hurt him and lie. I would rather have killed him then let him live one more day in pain over you. At lest now he has nothing to worry about. He is free from you." Dropping to my knees as the tears flow faster and a knot in my throat forms. I look down at him. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for this. I want to push him, to see his chest move slightly again, to force air in his lungs, to breath life back into him. I move closer to him but am pulled away as soon as I do.

"LET ME NEAR HIM YOU MONSTER!" Pulling and tugging at his hold it is no use. Letting my body relax as the waves of sadness wash over me.

"You do not deserve to touch him, or morn him. I am leaving, with his body. You can be left with the memories." As he says that he grabs Inuyasha and throws him over his shoulder and grabs the suitcase. He opens the door and slams it behind him. I cant move from where I am.

Tears still rolling down my face I pull Shadow closer to me and hug him. I just finished scrubbing the carpet and getting all the blood out. It was so much. A fresh wave of sobs pour out of me as I think of everything again. I was so mean to him. I should have listened to him, hugged him, done something other then yell. But what did I have to do in the end. Clean away the death that his own brother brought to him. The very brother he trusted and looked to for advise. Anger pulls at my chest as I think of Sesshomaru and his calm tone after just killing his own family. Letting out a sigh I wipe my face on my sleeve then run a hand threw my messy hair. I wish I could go back in time and change everything.

**Allllrighty then. Sooooo hope you like this chapter. The next one should be pretty long. Big thanks toooooooooo:**

**CityOfFallenAshes – evil right?**

**Twistedheart27 – hmmm drama :Q_ ****drools**

**Yarzan – thank you for the idea to go back and put in the side Kagome saw this from. But really? Creeping me out! No sex! And ummm yeah. Not to be mean but you kinda freaked me out when I read your review. No more creepy questions mmkay? ^^;**

**Hides behind twistedheart27 and cityoffallenashes ^^; well then next chapter should be some fun stuff! Hope you guys liked the chapter. Oh and the facebook page didn't work from here so it is up on my profile, fanfiction can be so tight with that stuff GAH! Well until next time, happy reading!**


	28. Chapter 28

**I do not own Inuyasha**

My body doesn't want to move and I feel numb. Playing the event that brought me here I mentally groan. I can I ever go back to Kagome. How will I ever make amends now. I hear footsteps next to me and force my eyes open. Wincing at the sudden light that overwhelms my eyes I turn my head to the side. A hand touches my head and I can feel my body twitch at the touch. My ears not working properly yet can only hear a muffled noise, which I am assuming is the voice of the person touching me. Pushing my self up with my elbows I blink to try and clear my vision of the light that has dulled my senses. I can make out a blurred figure next to me, blinking again I can feel myself being pushed back into a laying position. Trying to push the hands away from me I try again to sit up but fail. I feel weak and I don't like it. Bringing my hand up and rubbing my eyes I look to the figure again to see it is not who I would have guessed. It wasn't Sesshomaru and I rack my brain to think of who this person is, but I can't recall if I ever met them before. Now more then ever I want to push this person away and leave. But my body is weak and doesn't listen to what I tell it to. Feeling a warm liquid on my lower half I try and more again, but this person has me pinned down. Raising my head off the ground I look down to see Sesshomaru pouring water over my stomach. Looking to my face he smiles and says something I still can't hear though. It is like I am in a tunnel and that he is miles away. Groaning I shake my head and rub my sore ears. Looking at the man who is holding me down I open my mouth and feel like my throat is made of sand paper. I close my mouth again and take a slow deep breath. Forcing myself to talk I slowly look to Sesshomaru.

"Who is he?" my voice is low and raspy and it hurts to talk. He frowns and looks to the man.

"He is an old friend. Do you not remember?" he speaks slowly and his eyes have not come back to meet mine. Looking over at the man again I frown.

"No." the man laughs as he takes one hand off my chest and runs it over his head along his hair.

"That hurts Inuyasha, it truly does." He frowns down at me but it looks fake.

"Sesshomaru. I don't feel good." My head falls back and hits the dirt underneath me. The strange mans face appears above mine.

"Are you done trying to move?" he looks concerned and annoyed at the same time. not feeling like talking I nod my head which makes me feel sick.

"Brother. It has not even been 12 hours since we left the house. I am surprised you are awake." He sounds tired and the thought runs back into my head about Kagome. Feeling the guilt wash over me again I sit up quickly and wince at the pain that over takes me. Placing a hand over my gut I look down to see blood slowly run over and between my fingers.

"God damnit! You said you were done trying!" looking over to the man I feel sick. He steps over me and starts to push me back but I hit his hands away and jump to my feet. He looks stunned for a second before he is grabbing my arm and he twists it up behind my back.

"You need to lay down and not move!" he yells in my ear. That tipped the scales, falling to my knees I lean forward and heave out any contents in my stomach. At this he releases my arm and takes a step back.

"Sesshomaru I didn't do that." He sounds scared at what had happened.

"I never accused you of it did I?" his voice was stern. Leaning forward I support my body with my arms, taking another deep breath I push back and sit Indian style on the ground. Feeling my body get weaker by the second I feel fear in the pit of my stomach. The strange man was standing over a pot and stirring it slowly. Sesshomaru takes a couple large steps over to me. He puts his hands on my shoulders and gives a small push on them. I get the message and lean back allowing my body to relax. He closes his eyes for a minute and takes a few deep breaths, I am assuming to calm his nerves.

"You were not supposed to wake up so soon. You need to let your body heal itself." He rubs the bridge of his nose and sits down next to me. Looking up as the man comes over and sits on my other side.

"This may sting a bit, but it will help heal even faster. Instead of a two week wait this should be a 4 day wait." He smiles at me but looks tired as well. Pulling my shirt up Sesshomaru lets out a grunt and reaches over and trips my shirt down the middle. The man puts some of the stuff on my wound a sharp pain shoot threw me and bite back the scream that wants out.

"We need you one your side now." Feeling Sesshomaru pull me over I feel limp. A moment later the pain is brought back ten fold as I feel him put the stuff on my back. Sesshomaru eases me to my back again. I watch them as my world seems to slip underneath me and my vision fogs. Closing my eyes I wait for the dark to pull over me.

After a couple days of rest I was up and moving with no problem, a week and all traces of the scar gone. I learned the man was Miroku, a old demon who new medicine very well, in fact from what Sesshomaru told me, he was the one who helped me last time. The difference is last time I was out for a week, this time my body just didn't want to rest I guess. Walking up the steps to Miroku's place I take in a deep breath, it is nice to be out again and away from the dramas at the house. Pulling the doors open I step in and kick my shoes off. Sesshomaru and Miroku have been playing card games to pass time and I found them in the living room playing and talking about past adventures. Walking over and taking a seat close to them I watch as they place cards down. I don't understand the game they are playing but they told me it was called rummy. I lost interest quickly and didn't bother to learn about the game.

"So now what?" I ask, feeling hopeful that I will get an answer that ends up going back to Kagome. Sesshomaru looks over and must have seen the look in my eyes because a frown grows over his face.

"Why do you like this girl so much? From what I learned from you and her, she stalked you and forced her way into your life." Looking down at the cards in his hand he sighed.

"She must be hot, wild man over here must want something." Miroku winks at me and I feel a blush work its way up over my face.

"No its not like that. I guess the time I spent just.. I don't know." I know I have no real reason to like the girl, he yells at me all the time. hits me and insults my family. And yet there is something about her that has captured my heart.

"Are you kidding me Miroku, Inuyasha doesn't go after people for that, only you and your perverted mind thinks of that." Sesshomaru looks at him with a stern look but Miroku laughs.

"And how do you know this?" he wiggles his eyebrows at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru just ignores him.

Okay guys.. I know I know it has been a long time since I updated.. to be honest this chapter has been sitting like this for a month now.. everytime I read it I don't know what to do.. but I hate not updating so im giving you guys this for now… hope you like! Big thanks to CityOfFallenAshes and Twistedheart27 thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing!


	29. Chapter 29

**I do not own Inuyasha**

As I sit in the tree above watching Sesshomaru and Miroku argue about something I absentmindedly pull bark of the tree. Letting a small piece of the tree fall on top of Miroku's head I roll my eyes. I have no idea what they are fighting about this time and to be honest I don't really care, my mind has been stuck at the house and Kagome for a while now. As Miroku yells he sends me a glance and pulls the wood from his tight pony tail and throws it dramatically to the ground. I chuckle and run a hand threw my hair before jumping down and landing between the two men. I look to Sesshomaru with intent dancing in my eyes, this shuts him up rather quickly as he sends me a questioning look. As I let a smile jump around my lips I lean back a little ways and lean on Miroku and cross my arms over my chest.

"I think it is about time you and me fight sir fluffy bottom!" I can hear Miroku bite back a laugh as Sesshomarus face flushes a deep red. I know he would normally tell me no to this kind of question, but throw in a insult and he never backs down.

"Little brother" he begins as he drags his hand up slowly to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I do not think you fully comprehend what you are asking." He ends with giving me a firm glare. At this all I can do is grin even wider showing him a toothy smile.

"Oh dear me! It seems lord fluff has lost his backbone!" I unwrap my arms as I speak and bring them to my face and pull my checks out while I stick my tongue out. For good measure it does take a little bit of edging on before he will agree to spare with me. Miroku shifted from under my weight and I can feel him shaking wanting to laugh but also not wanting to be killed where he stood. He may be powerful for his line of heritage but nowhere near as powerful to fend of an attack from Sesshomaru.

"When I count to three I am either killing you, or you apologize for your wrong doings." Sesshomaru simply stated as he cracked his knuckles "1" he stated sternly as I push off Miroku I can feel my excitement rising. "2" Miroku inches away feeling the battle that is about to unfold before him. "3" taking my stance he lunges towards me in a movement so fast if I wasn't a demon I would have never seen him move. But these past months from sparing with him have sharped my fight skills again. As I move in pace with him we deliver blow after blow not landing a solid hit on each other and blocking most of them. I stop and then jump up to the tree to get my bearings I squat low on the branch only to be greeted by Sesshomarus face appearing right in front of me.

"If you need a break little brother I can surly give it to you. But know that you might be harmed in the process." As my brother speaks he moved to attack but I can see and feel it coming. I grab onto the branch firmly with my hands and allow myself to fall backwards swinging myself around the branch still holding firm I kick Sesshomaru in the gut then release my grip and drop back to the ground below. I can feel the laughter escape my mouth as my hands dart up and quickly clamp over my lips.

"You are improving slowly, how about we go all out no bars?" Sesshomaru states his eyes gleaming brightly. My stomach turns over as I inch a step backwards then turning to face Miroku I run towards him with my arms outstretched.

"Miroku! I am to young to die!" as soon as I take of toward him he turns and runs also.

"Hey I didn't do anything leave me out of this!" he yells to me as he throws his arms into the air.

"But Miroku!" I whine as I begin to laugh I near him but he stops quickly and turns to me with a evil smile.

"Boom!" he states as I feel my feet leave the ground I let my arms fall to my sides and I frown at him.

"This is not fair!" I pout at him and he just smiles larger in response.

"Hey now! I wasn't going to die, I am to damn sexy to drop dead now!" he says in a matter of fact tone and I cant help but burst out laughing I fall to my knees as Sesshomaru walks underneath me and looks up with a smug grin.

"You are lucky Inuyasha, Miroku saved you." I let myself fall back and sit Indian style in my little force field and I cross my arms.

"Hey I didn't ask for this, maybe you should be next." Miroku chuckles and sits on the dirt and looks to me with knowing in his eyes.

"So when am I going to meet this lady or yours?" I feel the smile leave my face as I think of how I could even talk to her after this. I mean she does think I am dead right now.

**sorry for the late update guys! My computer broke and I lost my passwords to fan fiction. But thank you to those of you who reviewed I hope to get this story back up and running! And next chapter will be a good length I promise!**


	30. Chapter 30

**I do not own Inuyasha**

~Kagome~

Sitting on the sofa I watch as Shadow runs around the table, I let out a sigh and rest my chin on the edge of the sofa. It has now been 2 and a half months since Sesshomaru killed Inuyasha and let me with the dog here alone. I can't help but think that I am the sole person to blame. All he wanted was a relationship and I strung him along and dragged him to see if he would really be with me threw it all. The more I think about this topic the more depressed I get, and for good cause. If it were not for me Inuyasha would be here right now and we could be happy. Running my fingers threw my hair I think of what life could be right now.

~Inuyasha~

"Come onnnnnn!" I feel like this is the billionth time asking today.

"Stop asking me!" is Sesshomarus only reply.

"I am bored! I want to go home!" I can feel my ears flatten at this, I have never been one to beg, yet here I am begging with my brother.

"What makes you think that I would want to see that wretch again?" he crosses his leg as he takes a sip of tea and looks to me.

"Well I would be there…" I try to give him my best smile.

"You look like you have not pooped in months with that face." Sesshomaru rubs the bridge of his nose and looks back to the newspaper in front of him.

"AGGGGGGGHHHH!" I throw my arms up to prove that I am upset and then plop to the ground letting my legs relax. I stick my tongue out to him and cross my arms.

"You are so very adult like little brother it is troublesome to think how you got this far on your own." As he says this he rolls his eyes with a slight grin on his face.

"MIROKU COME HELP ME!" I yell into the morning air and flop back onto the wood floor and roll around. I can hear Miroku moving from his room further in the house slowly. Looking over to the hall I see him poke his head out of his room looking sleepy still.

"Can't you two sort out your problems with out this guys advise?" with a small chuckle I crawl over to him and latch onto his leg quickly as I stick my bottom lip out.

"Please sir monk help this lost demon." I grin up at him.

"Half demon!" Sesshomarus voice dances into the hall and I cringe.

"SHUT UP!" I stand up and brush the dirt from my behind off and drag Miroku out into the sitting area. And drag him into a sit across from Sesshomaru. As he rubs the sleep from his eyes he yawns.

"Oye! If you want to see this girl so much why don't you just run over there and say hello." His reply sounds like he is going to fall back asleep at any moment.

"Because she thinks I am dead." I trail off and look over to Sesshomaru who has a grin plastered on his face.

"Just as well though, she was an annoying one if you ask me." He pulls the paper up in front of his face.

"I didn't ask you bro but thanks for your dear insight." I roll my eyes before turning back to Miroku and ask him. "So if you were me what would you do?" I grin to him.

"Well first I would let myself sleep for a tad bit longer, how the hell are you up so early anyway?" he stretches and looks back to me to add. "And if I was you I would go home and knock on the door, when she answers I would look her dead in the eyes and say 'My soul can not rest until you bare my children!' and then mr. pup I would continue to ins-" as he says this I throw my arms in the air.

"MIROKU THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!" I shout at him and tackle him from over top of the table.

"You know what I think?" sitting up on Mirokus chest I look sat Sesshomaru and frown worried of his answer.

"What is on your twisted mind?" I look to him and slid off onto the floor once more.

"Dear lord Inu your fat! I can hardly breath I think you broke me!" Miroku gasps and makes a face and I laugh and hit him in the arm as Sesshomaru clears his throat.

"If you two kids are down now, I propose we go back home and see how this all plays out." I can feel my eyes widen and if I had a tail I am guessing it would be wagging right now. Jumping on top of my brother I hug his neck tightly.

"DO YOU MEAN IT!" I shout into his ear happily.

"I am going to ask you nicely ONCE to get the hell off of me." He says as his nails sink into the wood table. "And yes I mean it I could do with a good laugh today." He adds the last part rather darkly. Jumping onto the table I point to the door.

"Then today men we make something of ourselves on our quest!" moments after this escapes my mouth I feel steaming tea drip down my leg and it takes me a good three minutes before I feel the hot liquid and decide to run off to the bathroom.

**Thank you for the positive feedback!**

**Big thanks to-**** Twistedheart27 and CityOfFallenAshes for sticking with this story thus far! And to Ladyluck3 glad you like this so far and yes I got your idea for a new story. And I am not sure how to do it yet but to the other readers she wants me to make a story about Inuyasha having a twin and in a school setting and the twist would be is that they like the same girl. Well I will start writing up a story line for this and post it soon! Thank you all for your ideas and help along the way I will be getting back to trying to post a new chapter everydayish, well long note from me sorry!**


	31. Chapter 31

**I do not own Inuyasha**

Walking down the streets just the three of us we got a lot of odd looks some people whistle in adoring some throw things. But none of it matters, this time away has shown me that yes I do love Kagome, but I can't keep up with a one way love, I guess my answers I am looking for await me at the house. We have to walk because even though Miroku is a demon he was not blessed with speed as Sesshomaru and I were. Lucky for us he was willing to run more then half the way. Walking down the streets I have grown used to seeing was weird to say the lest, for the past couple of months I was brought back to how I used to live, and I liked it. A lot.

"Are we there yet?" Miroku asked for about the millionth time already.

"Will you shut the hell up I told you at lest 15 more minutes and we are there." Was Sesshomarus short response. I couldn't help but chuckle and run around the two in circles like I was a kid again. Something inside me just felt free and light. I was happy. But more not going back to the place I had called home, but realizing that I missed everything I was and have came to terms with it all and am willing to set aside this for Kagome, even if it is for the short time she has on this planet.

"Woah." I mumble out as I come to a halt in front of the building I said was my place of living, the thing I had kept myself trapped in waiting for an answer to all my questions. But they were all answered. Sesshomaru stood next to me and with a small grin he looked to Miroku who was panting looking hopeful up at the building.

"Home sweet home." I give Miroku a half grin and make my way to the door and pry it open as a rush of smells greet me. First and for most was Kagomes sent. Then shadow, then all the smells of me over the years, then the new life that was started, Sesshomaru, tears, blood, misery, sadness all of these over took my senses as I started to climb the stairs. Now more then ever I became nervous of what she would say or think. Reaching the top I grab Miroku and push him in front of me and look to the door, luckily for me he got the hint and knocked on the door. Shadow was barking like mad and I could hear rustling from behind the door frame. A couple of seconds pass before Kagomes voice drifted threw the door.

"Who are you?" Miroku looked stuck so I jabbed his side knowing she could not see me and Sesshomaru from her point of view threw the tiny hole in the door.

"Erm, well you see….." Miroku staggered off in his words.

"I am not interesting in what you are selling please leave." With this I heard a huff from the other side as she began to walk away, feeling a tad disappointed I jabbed at Miroku's side again and he shot me a dirty look before banging on the door again.

"I have a surprise for you ma'am." More movement from the other side as she got near the door again and it sounds like she let her head fall against the door and rest there.

"Please just go away." She almost begged threw the door. Miroku tensed up and gave the door another good bang.

"We are not leaving until you open the door and talk." Silence followed and Sesshomaru gave a rather loud grunt and pushed past me and stood in view of the small hole as he cleared his throat.

"Kagome open the door." Calmness wrapped his voice even though it was apparent he was anything but.

"How do you know my name…. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" her yell hurt my ears and there was a hole door in the way.

"If you open the door up you would find out missy." Sesshomaru crossed his arms over his chest as if on his last nerve.

"Why in the seven hells would I talk to you or your strange friend?!" she half yelled this but the pain in her voice was apparent.

"Dear lady, please allow us with the grace of you opening the door so I can take in your beauty." Miroku adds and I slap my hand to my face, of all things he could put out he says this?

"I think you guys have done enou" Miroku bangs on the door and continues talking.

"It is rude to interrupt me miss. Now as I was saying Inuyasha has said so many things about you I would like to confirm them." He said with a large smile. But from the other side she wails out.

"He is dead!" now please leave me alone!" small thuds on the door make me think she is hitting her hand off it to stop from braking down and it kills me.

"But miss he looks quite alive to me. I mean you can judge for yourself all you have to do is open the door." Another long pause followed by the sound of locks coming undone and the door being slammed open.

"LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING AT HERE BUT I HAV…." She freezes as soon as she looks over and sees me. And all I can do is give a weak smile and a small wave. I feel horrible for what happened and also that it took me so long to get to see her again, but if what Sesshomaru is true this is the test today.

"Hiya Kags." I squeak out trying to sound manly. Or actually to sound anything then scared.

"You… you can't be here. You just cant… I say you die… he. He. He killed you and I saw you. I SCRUBBED YOUR BLOOD OUT OF THE RUG!" falling to her knees long sobs come out of her as tears stream down her face and I feel the urge to hug her. Looking to Sesshomaru and Miroku I tilt my head saying go inside. They listen quick and march in. I get on one knee and wrap my arms around Kagomes small form once there is room for me to do so.

"I am sorry Kagome. I really am." Is all I can muster out of my mouth. But what I had hoped would calm her seemed to have a different affect. She hit my arm as she buried her face deeper into my shoulder the cries muffled, but still growing louder by the moment. A tug at my heart and I feel horrible for what has happened even more so. Standing up slowly I lift her with me and hug her close to me.

"You are dead…" disbelief laced her voice and her sadness dripped from her voice.

"No Kagome I am right here, and I will continue to be here for as long as you will let me." My hushed answer for her that I had been thinking of these past months has now come out and I hold my breath waiting for her to answer me. Lifting her head off my shoulder she looks at me with tear stained eyes and wipes her eyes into her sleeve and studies my face as if searching for something to prove I am actually here. With a sigh I lean closer to her and kiss her. A long and slow passionate kiss to hopefully push away any dark thoughts she is having about this all.

"I…I want.. I want you to stay.. please…" speaking threw sniffles as she says this I cant help but smile. One it is kind of cute, and two, a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.

"Are you two gonna have sex yet?" Miroku pops his head out into the landing and I slowly place Kagome down and turn and tackle Miroku hard taking him to the ground.

"You ruined it! YOU ASS!" I scream as loud as I could and stick my bottom lip out in a pout. I feel Kagome's hand run over my shoulder as she steps into the house. A smile dances over my lips as I have no reason to be upset anymore.

"Well this was all fun, when can I sleep on my bed and what are we doing with the perverted monk demon. Thing." A laugh works its way out of me as I look to Sesshomaru, never before have I heard him drop all formalities and refer to someone as a monk demon thing. I can tell this is all going to work out even if it does need a lot of work to fix everything. And of course will need work to make this house suitable for Miroku as well. I cant wait to see what the future holds for me.

**WHEW! Okay so a couple of things, yes, that is the end of this story, but I might be writing a 'next' story if I feel like it. I wanted to say thanks to all the support for you guys it ment a lot. So I have started another story and it is up now and in progress, I am hoping my readers from this story will go have a look over there. Okay one last thing before I wrap this up, I made a deviantart page for my other story if you guys go over and look at that it will make more sense, I will be doing art along with the story to make it more fun I guess, but I love to draw so it just gives me an excuse to do so!**

**Lordofthepuppies – well I think this answered everything for you DONE WITH THIS STORY FOR NOW!**

**xxxInuxxx – I am glad you liked it that much!**

**CityOfFallenAshes – hope you enjoy this last chapter I am more then willing to say I will be writing a after story for all this.**

**Twistedheart27 – tadaaaaaaaaaa!**

**I wanted to thank you guys for the reviews:**

**CityOfFallenAshes**

**Twistedheart27**

**xxxInuxxx**

**lordofthepuppies **

**LadyLuck3**

**Yarzan**


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